vituperation

Well.

I went to my GP yesterday afternoon - let us call her "Dr. Judy" from now on, shall we? - to see if she could figure out what was plaguing me. After some tests, including a flu test—

which is, let me point out right here, one of the most uncomfortable tests there is. It’s worse than the big qtip-down-the-throat strep test, but it’s a little similar in that it involves a big q-tip.

Up your nose.

WAY up your nose.

Touching your brain, practically.

—she determined that (a) I don’t have a bacterial infection and (b) I don’t have the flu. She told me (as I stood there shaking like a leaf because I’d had the brilliant idea to wear shorts and a t-shirt to her office and my temp zipped up to 103 while I was there) to take four Advils three times a day, supplemented by two extra strength Tylenols at the four-hour marks between the eight-hour Advil times. If that makes sense.

Advil is some fever-ass-kicking stuff, let me say.

It knocked the fever out for most of the night (it snuck up to about 102.5 while I was sleeping) and, knock on wood, has kept it down around 99 this morning. I feel almost normal (I use that word loosely) today, and I had the best sleep last night that I’ve had in the last two weeks. Let us hope that the afternoon and early evening, my worst times, stay fever free.

All hail the Advil.

So I went to see my surgeon this morning at nine, for the removal of my last two drains. Let me just say that I never ever want to have drains like that again.

God.

The first one was just the funkiest feeling in the world, because these things were about 5 inches in. I wish I could describe the feeling. There was a weird tickling and an odd feeling of suction, then it felt more or less like a worm crawled across my abdomen, down my pubis, and out my crotch. About an inch under the skin.

The second one was like the first one, but it also had the benefit of hurting like a motherfucker.

But, by God, I’m drain-free and wearing underwear again for the first time in two weeks, and that’s a fine fucking feeling.

Now, if this damn fever will stay away, I can start with my beloved weights again. They miss me.