vituperation

September 25, 2003

“I don’t know,” I said to Robyn, leaning into the refrigerator for a jar of salsa. “If I had my druthers, I’d just fly over there and back on the same day.”

We were discussing a phone call I’d received earlier in the day as we fixed our plates for dinner. I’m not at liberty to tell you who called, but I’ll tell you this: their initials are ‘C’, ‘N’, and ‘N’. I’m sorry I can’t tell you any more, but I really don’t want to give it away and ruin the surprise.

“You have brothers?” the spud asked.

I was befuddled, which, as I’ve mentioned on previous occasions, is a normal state of mind when you live with a teenager.

“Huh?” I said.

“I didn’t know you had brothers,” she said.

“I don’t,” I replied, then grinned at Robyn as I suddenly understood what the spud was talking about. “I got dibs on writing about this one,” I said.

I swear, it’s like living with Jessica Simpson.

I’m mostly finished with Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them, Al Franken’s latest book.

Wow.

I don’t know what else to say. I simply love it. It’s easily the funniest thing I’ve read all year. However, normal conservative types (I’m a conservative type, but I’m not like most of them, it seems) might not find it as amusing as I do. For one, Al’s wickedly sarcastic, and that’s probably my favorite form of humor. Second, he likes to use self-deprecation, which is another of my favorite forms of humor. Obviously, being from the other end of the political spectrum, I don’t necessarily agree with a number of his solutions to problems, but hell, it would be stupid to let a disagreement get in the way of a good belly laugh.

He shreds Ann Coulter’s Slander (another very funny and enjoyable book), taking her apart on misquoting people and tying together quotes to make it look like people said something they didn’t. Sort of like Maureen Dowd did with the President a couple of months ago. Misquoting, that is, not tearing him apart. Though she tried.

I hate that shit.

Anyway, I’m loving the book, because it’s keeping me in stitches. Robyn can attest that I spend a good deal of time guffawing while I read as we sit in front of the TV. Two thumbs WAY up for Al’s book. What’s truly ironic is that I’ve never been a Franken fan, but the man sure seems to have found his groove with this book.

Also, if you want a good laugh, read the reviews of the book on Amazon. Lots of funny stuff there.

On my third day of wearing spiffy new clothes — hey, did I mention I wear a “medium” shirt now? — I finally got some unbiased appreciation on how good I looked.

From the flamboyantly gay cashier at the grocery store, who stroked my arm while quizzing me on where I got such a lovely shirt.

Hey, I’ll take a compliment anywhere I can get one.

For the record, if you’ve read my book and are amenable, I’d appreciate it if you’d post a review of it over on Amazon, please. Be honest, too, I’m not trolling for 5-stars here.

Though I wouldn’t complain if that’s what you gave it.

Here’s a link for your convenience. Thank you in advance.