Adventures in freakdom.
The internet is like a vast green pasture, isn’t it? We people who traverse it are like the cows in that pasture, grazing along in the wide-open spaces, with tremendous freedom to move around and to look at anything we like.
And, like cows, we leave droppings wherever we go: little stinking piles of shit in the grass, sullying things up for everyone else.
Part of the freedom we enjoy on the internet is the freedom to say anything we want to. That’s also a right guaranteed by our constitution not to be infringed upon by the government. We sure like to use that freedom, too, to say plenty of things. Some of them aren’t so nice.
For example, you might go somewhere like, I don’t know, my wife’s web site, and anonymously leave a comment like: that hair cut looks like crap, why do you let your husband go on day trips with your daughter, are you out of your mind… you’d better get back on track with the weight loss honey or keep looking over your shoulder. Get a CLUE!
Shame, shame, shame, anonymous poster, you left some droppings when you did that. You also forgot, in your haste to suggest that I might molest the spud, that I’m a super duper uber computer geek in my day job. More importantly, I’m a super geek who specializes in computer security.
What that means, anonymous poster, is that I know how to read those droppings you left behind, much like a psychic would read some tea leaves in the bottom of the cup.
And read I did, anonymous poster.
You see, each computer on the internet has a unique number assigned to it, called an “IP address.” That stands for Internet Protocol, if you’re interested, and there are 4.2 billion of them right now under version 4 of the IP numbering system. It’s amazing what you can do if you have someone’s IP address, especially when it’s not a dialup address. Much like yours isn’t a dialup address, anonymous poster. That means you leave the same droppings everywhere you go.
What makes it nicer is that you left behind more droppings in other places. The first dropping I found was your email address, which you left on another site near and dear to us all. You left it tied together with your IP address. Like I said, there are 4.2 billion of these numbers. What are the odds that the same address would leave droppings on two sites so close together? Know what made it even better? You left your last name with your email address on that second one.
Droppings, droppings, all over the place. You might consider getting something besides an Angelfire email address, by the way. They’re like spam magnets.
A simple search of your email address turns up every message board you’ve left that address on. And, of course, you left your first name with some of those. May I call you Jackie, or is that too presumptuous of me, since we don’t really know one another? So many droppings. The rest of you should watch where you step, lest you get them on your shoe.
IP addresses are handed out in blocks to ISPs and companies, and there are numerous databases where someone — a super duper uber computer geek who specializes in computer security, for example — who knows what he’s doing can track an IP address to its geographic location.
Someplace like Washington state, perhaps. How’s the weather in Vancouver? Is it getting cold yet?
IP databases aren’t the only databases online, not at all. Why, if you know someone’s first and last name, and the city and state they live in, you can get their street address and phone number (hell, some sites even give you a map right to their house.), lickety split. Probably quicker than you could type out a nasty rude comment to try and hurt someone you don’t know, I’d bet.
Again to the rest of you, keep an eye out for those droppings.
But seriously, Jackie, you might consider getting an unlisted number, like we have. Oh, and you might look into getting a P.O. Box, too. Make it a little harder — not impossible, mind you — for people to track your droppings.
One final thing before you freak out, Jackie, note this: Robyn and I are nice people. You were an interesting speck on our radar for the five minutes it took to find out all that publicly accessible information. We’re not planning to post any of your information, or use it in any way. Hell, we’ve already forgotten it. Just be mindful of the things you say about people when you think you’re being smart, because you might encounter someone a little smarter.
Also, I was saddened to hear about your father. He sounded like a good man, and I appreciate all the years he put in defending our great nation.
If you want to get notified whenever Fred writes a journal entry, this link will do the trick.
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Go Fred - it’s your Birthday! It’s your Birthday. Yowsa!
;-) Robert
Bravo!
:::starting a standing O:::
There’s a reason I married an uber computer geek…’cause you guys ROCK when you do stuff like this and then I can tell the little chica who ‘found’ me (she knew I wasn in the south, ooohhh) all about how her neighbors Mr. So-and-So and The Whatits’ and all those folks in her small town that probably know all of her business and would LOVE to know her little ’secret’….never did hear from Chica-Sleuth again, hmmmmmm….Geeks are GOOD!
Good job, Fred & Robyn…..*applause*
Well done! [standing ovation]
~~ Winter
Well, I do not worry as y’all will fall asleep tracking me with the exciting life I lead
Fred, send Jackie a copy of that post about how you were struck with love for your wife, maybe Jackie will get a clue.
Thanks, guys. I wonder how long it’ll take trolls to start posting here to try and get attention. That’s all they want, anyway.
Uber computer geeks are the best! I know because I also married one.
Cheers to you!
Way to go Fred!!
that was some funny sh*t!!!! fred rocks too!
You rock, Fred!
GOD you’re sexy when you’re geeky…it’s kinda like the Croc Hunter only with IP addresses and domains and stuff. *drool*
I admire the way you handled all that mess, Fred: very direct and to-the-point, without stooping down to her lower level. It’d be encouraging to see more people respond to cattiness and insults as maturely as you have. Yay for ya’ll. (And I’ll be a reader/supporter for as long as you guys are online & willing to allow it, just so y’know.)
Bravo on the defense of Robyn and things And3rsony. As for Jackie — what a sad, sad person.
That was great! Simply brilliant!
Fred - YOU ROCK!
Ellie
I’m standing too. Way to go Fred. Robyn and the Spud are so lucky to have you. Na, luck has nothing to do with it. They seem like great people too. You all deserve each other (said in the good way of course)
Guess you really got her goat, eh?
She should have thought about who she be messin’ wiff!
Way to go, Fred!
very impressive. where can I get one of you??
Oh, and I want a standing “O”. Is that what I think it is? Heh heh.
Perfect! Absolutely perfect. Although I have little hope that “Jackie” will get a clue. On behalf of the residents of state of Washington, I cringe…
By the way, how’s the new litterbox setup working?
See I was going to say “not that kind of O, you perv”, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment.
Fred, you rock, rock, rock!!! If I had the knowledge you do, I probably wouldn’t have been so nice about not posting her info. The least you can do is send the Jehovah’s Witnesses to her house, or maybe the Kirby vacuum people….evil me! By the way, you’re a super hottie and Robyn is a lucky girl to have you!
Like Bruce, I am cringing because I live in Washington. Most of us are nice just like you and Robyn. I am not, however, above the flaming-dog-turd-on-the-porch trick for people like Jackie.
Wow, a lot of us married computer geeks huh? lol It just pisses me off that other people can be so fucked up that they assume the rest of can’t just be nice, normal, loving people that enjoy being a family, and have to throw some perverted inuendos into it.
My wonderful husband early on in our marriage, gladly and willingly put up with my dysfunctional family. And when there were numerous times over the years that my younger brother and sister had to live with us, he gladly took them in and was a wonderful father figure to them. I would have been ROYALLY PISSED if someone had inferred that he was spending time with them for any other reason than that he loved them, and wanted to be there for them.
I personally think it’s awesome that you’re such a great dad to the spud, there are some stepfathers that wouldn’t take an interest in their stepkids, which is so sad. So enjoy your family, and hopefully that bitch will think twice next time before she writes something so hateful and just plain mean.
Like all those bumperstickers say; mean people suck!
holy shit, didn’t mean to write a novel there!
WooHoo, Fred! I, too, have married a super geek to the nth degree. It is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
You totally rock - A big-out-loud-”ha!” and “heehee” while reading this post.
Screw her and the horse she rode in on…
I’ve been lurking around yours and Robyn’s sites for (yikes!) over a year now, and always get a kick out of your posts - this one killed me!
Hey Fred, guess she really pissed you off. Your post was too cool. Thanks for making me laugh out loud!
Hey sent you guys an email as well saying how awesome you are. Robyn sent my copy of your book on Tuesday, (New Zealand time) and I got it today Friday (NZ time) How damn fast is that?????
Keep on rocking
Pauleene - guess you already know where I live
WAY TO GO FRED!! We LOVE you Robyn & we think you are PERFECT!!
Er…Fred? I love you and I think you rock, but Vancouver? It’s in British Columbia…Canada.
Nik,
Don’t tell these guys that, they think they’re in the US:
http://www.ci.vancouver.wa.us/
:)
Excellent work, Fred!!
heheheh just have to say, after starting to read the book, I have to keep reminding myself Danielle is just the “Spud” Danielle, sounds like a serious person, not someone I associate with the “Spud”
Way to go Fred!! Hi Jackie!
Heh! That was ggrreeaatt~
By the way….love the addition you have made,the comment section on each day. Just been meaning to mention that
FRED,
I THINK THAT ANONYMOUS PERSON(WELL NOT ANONYMOUS ANYMORE) IS NUTS. THEY THINK THEY HAVE THE BIG PICTURE OF YOUR FAMILY BECAUSE BOTH OF YOU HAVE WEB SITES AND THEY THINK THEY CAN PASS JUDGEMENT. I GUESS ITS ONE OF THE DOWNSIDES OF POSTING, BUT PEOPLE HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT WE ARE ONLY SEEING A SMALL PART OF YOUR FAMILY AND THEY SHOULD NOT BE PASSING JUDGEMENT OR MAKING ASSUMPTIONS.
ANONYMOUS (WHOOPS, I MEANT RICHARD IN BOISE IDAHO)
Hi Fred, It’s my birthday today!:-)
What can I say that hasnt already been said… Bravo to you and all your geekdom. I to am also(getting) married to a geek. Whom I met on line 5 years ago. Anyone with any part of a brain, should know that you can be tracked on line. Sheesh, reminds me of the calls I take at work. Jackie put your computer back in its box and send it back to the manufactur.
Note to Nik: Vancouver Wa. is just north of Portland Or. just across the Columbia River.
And they say there are no knights in shining armor left in the world!
That was the most vile (vilest?) thing anyone could ever imply about a man or a family. Apart from acquiring a few million years of bad karma, I hope that person got REALLY scared!You go, Fred!
Fred, I just recently read through all of your entries. Before I got to this one, I found myself thinking about how wonderful you are to the Spud. I agree with everyone here — YOU ROCK!! (And that’s from one computer geek to another.) The way you handled this woman would have made my network security professor proud.
Oh, by the way, in an older entry, you asked a question about black women and our hair getting wet. Here’s an answer for you: Water turns our hair into an afro, basically. You then have to deal with either hours of sitting under a dryer or hours with a pressing comb (hot comb in the south).
Brilliantly handled. My hat’s off to you. :0)
How great to see someone get put in her place!! What a magnificent job you did of doing that!! I bet she was quaking in her shoes. She probably doesn’t have the “balls” to come on here and apologize. Bravo to you for how you handled it!!
I’m not sure if you guys ever mentioned this before, but does the spud read your sites? I hope she didn’t see that nasty comment ‘cos I wouldn’t want it to hurt her too.
Mean people suck!
Thanks everyone
Pat — Happy birthday!
Ganell — thanks for clearing that up. I suspected as much, but wanted someone in the know to clarify it for me.
Michelle — trust me, the mere idea of reading her parents’ sites is enough to put the spud right to sleep.
Damn, I use too many smileys.
You and Robyn are two of the nicest people that I have come across. A very tactful and “high-road” handling of a very ugly, viscious situation.
I am so glad I stumbled onto yall’s sight a few weeks ago. Makes me feel good to know there are “normal” folks out there!! *Back-flip-half-twist-piked-double-endover-somersault*..all the while holding a rose in my teeth! lol….way to go fred!!
Fred: You are the greatest!!!!
THANK YOU. Great post, well researched, well written.
I am with the crowd of Proud People standing UP for YOU!
Because, you do, indeed, Rock.
Mary
I meant to say also that I had a stepfather since the age of 8. I use to go to work with him in his truck all school holidays, it was awesome. No never did anything as that sick Jackie was insinuating. I love him to bits and he loves me.
Don’t judge others on your self.
Love Pauleene
Hey - I don’t live too far from “The Couv”, want me to drive up there and kick the ball-licker’s ass?
Gem -
Nah, I suspect she’s shaken up already. Plus, with her IP address, it was easy enough to wait and see that she saw this entry (and came back to read the comments several times). Now that she’s seen it, she’s learning how I can use my site config file to redirect her to all sorts of fun sites when she tries to come here.
Fred and Robyn - you guys are just waaaaaaay to nice. I would have posted her email addy/website for the world to see.
Will be interesting to see if an apology appears in your comments!
Intestingly enough, Fred, you visited my site while at work once upon a time. Sitemeter logged your domain, which I clicked on out of complete idle boredom one day while going through my sitemeter data. Imagine my surprise when I found it to be your company’s website, complete with address and phone number. I knew where Fred works! But I had no interest in doing anything with that information or even retaining it. A stalker I am not. This just shows, yet again, that it can be distressingly easy to find information about someone on the internet, sometimes without even trying.
Fred and Robyn,
I still can’t wipe the smile off my face. Dear ole Jackie got what she deserved. Maybe next time whe will think twice before making hasty comments about good people..
You’s Rock!!!
**jaw drop**
you rawk!!!
~C
Ooooh, I’m emailing Anne so I can stalk Fred.
Ok, so I am a little late on this one…but very well done Fred. Sorry that Robyn had a nasty little troll pestering her!
I can’t believe that person was REAL!!
I posted in Robyn’s comments that I was sure that person had to be joking. Little do I know that such dumbasses are real. I haven’t seen anyone so internet-naive as Jackie since BBS flamers from the early ninetys!
I’ve been in DC on business–bring it on stalkers–and I’ve missed out on all the drama, again. That’ll teach me.
Shit. I’m thanking God I’m a nice person….