j031124 (imported)
November 24, 2003
Should you ever find yourself drinking a bottle of IBC diet root beer, you might notice “L.T.P.” stamped on the bottle cap, just under the logo. If you’re interested, that stands for “Louisiana Tax Purchase.”
Why yes, we did call to ask, because it had us vexed today at work. We made our call right in the middle of a long and boring teleconference on the various aspects of a public-key cryptography infrastructure. It took the good folks at IBC over an hour to find out what it meant, but they called us back and told us.
Now if they only knew why it was there, my life could be complete.
It’s no small secret that I love to go on hikes. Nothing cranks my tractor more than getting myself all dorked out and traipsing all around the nearby mountains. Getting "dorked out," should you be interested, means that I pack up enough stuff to cover practically any eventuality. I’m a poster boy for the Worst Case Scenario books, I think.
Most of the time, when I’m preparing for a longish (5 miles) hike, I’ll load up with: a camera, my Magellan GPS, trail maps, extra batteries, a gun, water, a book, and lunch. Like I said, dorked out. To the max. I pack all my stuff into a big blue and white backpack, which was actually designed to carry schoolbooks. My biggest complaint with the backpack, other than how gay stupid it makes me look, is that it’s so big everything in it flops around and annoys me when I’m hiking.
Because I’m easily annoyed by such things, you know.
Saturday, after I put up my entry, I went for a hike. A long hike, which means I got myself dorked out. On the way into Huntsville, I thought hey, why not stop at Dick’s Sporting Goods and look for a smaller, less gay stupid backpack? You’re going right by there.
So stop I did, and oh my God, I found a backpack so AWESOME I’m devoting most of an entry to it. I’m in love with this thing. First off, it has a small footprint. It’s narrower and longer than the other one, but it lays flat, maybe three or four inches thick when it’s empty. I’d link to a page about it, but I can’t seem to find anything about the manufacturer. The label says "Quest", "Pacific", and "Northpole."
First off, it’s a stylish orange and gray, with an assload of zippered pocket for putting in the things that make me such a dork. It also has a seven-point bungee system right on the outside, for holding small stuff. I used it to hold my sunglasses once I got into the deep woods.
Something else I really like is that, unlike my other pack, it has an across-the-chest connector and an around-the-waist connector, to help hold it in place. This comes in handy when you’re totally dorked out, because dorkoutrements tend to weigh a lot.
Inside the first section are TONS of smaller pockets. I put the GPS and the camera in here. Note the nifty keyring hookup, too, which attaches and detaches via a clip like the one that holds the pack loops across your chest.
Inside the second section. I put my book — a full-sized hardback novel — in here. Note that the open flap has a pocket with a velcro strap, designed to hold a CD player.
I stored my lunch in the third section, as well as the gun and the holster during the times I was transporting it not in my pants / pocket.
And finally, the coolest part of all. I didn’t even discover this until I’d bought the pack and was loading it up in the Jeep. It has a built-in water system so I don’t have to carry bottles any more! The little tube runs up and over your shoulder, so that all you have to do is bite a little teat-like (woo!) thing and suck out water when you want it.
Is that the coolest thing ever, or what? (Yes, I’m aware they’ve had those for years. I just wasn’t aware this one had it. I fell in love with it before I even knew about this. It had me at hello.)
Here’s a side view of the pack, with all the pockets open:
The best part of all? The price tag said it was fifty bucks — a true bargain as far as I’m concerned — but it rang up as only $29.95.
Life is good. And I am a dork.
Next time, I’ll thrill you with pictures from my hike. I’m sure you can’t wait.
It’s called a bladder. The water system is, I mean.
Such a deal!
That is, actually, worth an entire entry. Seems perfect for biking, too. Don’t you love it when you find exactly what you want and it’s less than you would have been willing to pay?
Caribou, indeed I do. (Hey, a rhyme!)
The tag that was attached actually refers to it as a “streamlined pack for bicycling and ultralight packing.”
Damn, that reminds me. I forgot to point out that it only weighs 2 or 3 pounds!
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I always wondered what those bungees were for! I have some on my own backpack.
Laura.
MY theory is that you planned the hike and bought the pack for the sole purpose of saying “teat”.
Hummmm! Isn’t carrying a gun in a back pack considered “carrying a concealed weapon?”
If you are over the age of 21 in Alabama, you have the right to carry a concealed weapon (as long as you have a current permit).
Faye, I also carry it concealed on my body. Freedom is a wonderful thing.
Why do you need to carry a gun? I never considered having one.
P.S. Cool backpack!
Nicole, I think of it as a preparedness tool, like the GPS.
My husband uses a “hydropack” for mountain biking that looks something like this one. It’s such a great way to keep hydrated while moving.
Too bad you guys live so far away. My husband LOVES to hike and mountain bike and is always looking for someone to go with. If you ever want to climb a volcano, let us know. Mt. Rainier and Mt. St. Helens are in our “backyard.”
Dude, I thought I was the only person who got so “dorkedly” excited over things that enable organization, like a purse w/ just the right amount and placement of pockets, or my school backpack, or a computer desk w/ little shelves and cubbyholes and things.
Good to know there’s more of us.
God, Fred, you are so gay. But I mean that in the best possible way!
I suppose next will be a photo of you wearing said backpack.
my husband has a term for his “dorkment”: Technoweenie. No wonder I enjoy your site…
I did some searching around the internet to see what I could find out about the LTP thingee. Louisiana had a soft drink excise tax and all bottles had to carry the LTP stamp. However that excise tax was repealed in 1997. BTW, West Virginia is the only state that has a soft drink excise tax and their bottles must carry a WV1 stamp. At least that’s what “Can Central” says (That’s the trade association for the canning industry): http://www.cancentral.com/issue9.cfm
I’m not quite sure why the IBC Root Beer bottle caps still carry it, but it might be that no one has gotten around to telling their bottle cap manufacturer to change them. I’d figure a big company owned by Dr. Pepper would have been on top of something like that …. and I doubt they had a huge surplus supply of bottle caps to last them for six years.
I once bought this tiny backpack, and it was really really cute, and it was black and silver, and it had, like these little straps that like, met just-so across my boobs, making them look really perky and stuff, and it had, like a cute matching thingy to put my sunglasses in, and like, this other cute matching thingy to put my change in, and all sorts of zippered and velcro’ed pockets, and a special sleeve for my pens and my business cards and my driver’s licence (with a window even!) and a key chain and stuff, and like a matching cell phone holder, and then… ohmygod, I openend up one of the many zippered compartments and it had a !!matching lipstick holder!! It was just so cute, I should send you a picture!
And you bought a tiny backpack to appear LESS gay somehow?
Sorry to mock; I just couldn’t help myself!
Amanda, methinks you misunderstood the intent of my use of “gay” in context. To this, I refer to the first definition from urbandictionary.com:
“something that is very stupid”
(hence my strikethrough and replacement with “stupid”)
And I’m pretty sure that, though I’m gushy about the new backpack, I don’t sound like a Valley girl.
Dream on, dude!
Re: “dorkoutrements”
HEE!
I’m gonna add this one to my vocab, if you don’t mind! (and use it on my technoweenie hubby!)