vituperation: Adventures in freakdom » 2003

j031124 (imported)

by Fred @ 12:00 pm. Filed under Outdoors

November 24, 2003

Should you ever find yourself drinking a bottle of IBC diet root beer, you might notice “L.T.P.” stamped on the bottle cap, just under the logo. If you’re interested, that stands for “Louisiana Tax Purchase.”

Why yes, we did call to ask, because it had us vexed today at work. We made our call right in the middle of a long and boring teleconference on the various aspects of a public-key cryptography infrastructure. It took the good folks at IBC over an hour to find out what it meant, but they called us back and told us.

Now if they only knew why it was there, my life could be complete.

It’s no small secret that I love to go on hikes. Nothing cranks my tractor more than getting myself all dorked out and traipsing all around the nearby mountains. Getting "dorked out," should you be interested, means that I pack up enough stuff to cover practically any eventuality. I’m a poster boy for the Worst Case Scenario books, I think.

Most of the time, when I’m preparing for a longish (5 miles) hike, I’ll load up with: a camera, my Magellan GPS, trail maps, extra batteries, a gun, water, a book, and lunch. Like I said, dorked out. To the max. I pack all my stuff into a big blue and white backpack, which was actually designed to carry schoolbooks. My biggest complaint with the backpack, other than how ~~gay~~ stupid it makes me look, is that it’s so big everything in it flops around and annoys me when I’m hiking.

Because I’m easily annoyed by such things, you know.

Saturday, after I put up my entry, I went for a hike. A long hike, which means I got myself dorked out. On the way into Huntsville, I thought hey, why not stop at Dick’s Sporting Goods and look for a smaller, less ~~gay~~ stupid backpack? You’re going right by there.

So stop I did, and oh my God, I found a backpack so AWESOME I’m devoting most of an entry to it. I’m in love with this thing. First off, it has a small footprint. It’s narrower and longer than the other one, but it lays flat, maybe three or four inches thick when it’s empty. I’d link to a page about it, but I can’t seem to find anything about the manufacturer. The label says "Quest", "Pacific", and "Northpole."

First off, it’s a stylish orange and gray, with an assload of zippered pocket for putting in the things that make me such a dork. It also has a seven-point bungee system right on the outside, for holding small stuff. I used it to hold my sunglasses once I got into the deep woods.

Something else I really like is that, unlike my other pack, it has an across-the-chest connector and an around-the-waist connector, to help hold it in place. This comes in handy when you’re totally dorked out, because dorkoutrements tend to weigh a lot.

Inside the first section are TONS of smaller pockets. I put the GPS and the camera in here. Note the nifty keyring hookup, too, which attaches and detaches via a clip like the one that holds the pack loops across your chest.

Inside the second section. I put my book — a full-sized hardback novel — in here. Note that the open flap has a pocket with a velcro strap, designed to hold a CD player.

I stored my lunch in the third section, as well as the gun and the holster during the times I was transporting it not in my pants / pocket.

And finally, the coolest part of all. I didn’t even discover this until I’d bought the pack and was loading it up in the Jeep. It has a built-in water system so I don’t have to carry bottles any more! The little tube runs up and over your shoulder, so that all you have to do is bite a little teat-like (woo!) thing and suck out water when you want it.

Is that the coolest thing ever, or what? (Yes, I’m aware they’ve had those for years. I just wasn’t aware this one had it. I fell in love with it before I even knew about this. It had me at hello.)