j040522 (imported)
May 22, 2004
"Hey," my sister said when I answered the phone, "I got mom to make an appointment at the ear clinic in Memphis so they can run their tests."
"Oh yeah?" I asked. "Good, maybe they can fix it."
"But there’s a slight problem."
Isn’t there always? I thought, but said, "What?"
"After all this time I spent convincing her that I would take her up there if she gets an appointment, now I can’t. So I told her you would take her."
I agreed, because obviously I would never refuse to take my mother for medical treatment, but I sure did bitch about it to Robyn when I got home. There’s a long story (or ten) behind it, but let’s just say in addition to getting advice I don’t want I’m not fond of being committed to doing something before I’m asked.
"You should come with me," I said to Robyn as we lay in bed later that night. "We can find something to do since the tests will take four or five hours."
I thought about it for a minute.
"We can go to the zoo! They’ve got giant pandas there, you know — I think it’s the only zoo in the whole southeast that does!"
The thought of the zoo excited us, and we talked about it for a few minutes. Then, I had an even better idea.
"Bessie!" I squealed, "We can go to the Peabody!"
"The Peabody?"
"The hotel down by the river!"
I waited expectantly.
"And?" she asked, as though I were mildly retarded.
"We can go see the march of the Peabody ducks!"
You know, because we’re dorks, and all that, and people like me get way over-excited about things like marching ducks. We talked about those wacky, quacky ducks for a bit, and how cool it must be to see them waddling down the red carpet.
And then, then it hit me. The truly perfect idea.
"OH MY GOD!" I shrieked. "I KNOW WHERE WE CAN GO!"
"Where?"
"And it’s so us!"’
"Where?"
"I can’t believe I didn’t think of this earlier!"
"WHERE?"
"As much as we love Redneck Mecca of the East, it’s only fitting that we go to Redneck Mecca of the West. It wouldn’t be right if we went anywhere else in Memphis."
"What’s the Redneck Mecca of the West?"
Obviously, only pictures can properly answer that question.
We see the sign for Mecca West ahead
Approaching Mecca West
Redneck Mecca of the West
I had to resist getting out my prayer rug and facing the sign.
The redneck tease begins outside, when we spot
the "Lisa Marie Airplane Tour"
Everyone had to be photographed here, so they
could hit you up for $20 at the other end.
The chariot taking us to Mecca West
The front. I got yelled at by the guide for dilly-dallying.
The living room. All interior pictures kind of suck, because
no flashes were allowed.
Elvis’s parents’ bedroom.
The stairs leading to Elvis’s living quarters.
Off-limits to us mere pilgrims.
The dining room.
The uber-stylish 70’s kitchen.
Elvis liked to see himself even more than I do, apparently.
Mirrors were everywhere, including the walls and ceiling
of this staircase.
The TV room. Note the mirrored ceiling.
…and the mirrored fireplace
The bar in the TV room.
The game room, with curtains on the walls and ceiling.
One end of the infamous jungle room.
The rest of the jungle room.
The jungle room has shag carpet on the ceiling.
Part of the yard.
Vernon Presley’s office.
Mecca West, rear view.
Another section of yard.
Nearing the locus of Mecca West.
The eternal flame of Elvhammed (peace be upon him),
prophet of Mecca West.
The tomb of Elvhammed (peace be upon him), surrounded
by messages and flowers of love from his devotees, the Islavists.
The spud claims she doesn’t sleep with her eyes open,
but proved herself wrong on the way home.
