vituperation

June 29, 2004

Congratulations to me, and thanks to the people who voted, for my Diarist Award for “Best Account of a Public or News Event” for this entry (even though, technically, I didn’t really write anything).

Congratulations are also in order for the wife, who picked up three awards, one for “Best Comedic Entry”, one for “Best Rant”, and one for “Best Journal (overall)”.

As promised a long time ago, below are some pictures from the quarry, taken with a disposable underwater camera.

One of the rock walls looks as if several truckloads of cement
were poured down it, into the water. It’s like a frozen waterfall.
Unfortunately, the crappy disposable camera didn’t really capture it well.

Here I hover underneath a rock overhang and practice a pose I call “The Lynndie”.
I’m using my legs as a light source.
Being underneath something and underwater at the same time is uber creepy,
especially with those fleshy stalactites growing down, rubbing in my hair and shit.

No wonder I caught the itchy worms.

A buoy marks a submerged houseboat.

A carp keeps a wary eye on us from the shallows, where the cattails grow.

A view from the surface. Have I mentioned how blue the water is?
Those of you who seem to be obsessed with what sort of vehicle I now drive,
please note that one of the vehicles in the picture is mine. So now you’ve seen it,
and don’t need to harass me any more.

More of the creepy, slimy, fleshy stuff. It grows in sheets on the rocks,
and peels off if you hit it with your foot or pull on it. Like skin.

There’s this idea sort of knocking around in my head about a quarry that’s alive.

A quarry that doesn’t too kindly to people injuring it, peeling off its skin and whatnot.

A vengeful quarry, if you will…

But I digress. Back to the pictures.

A super-creepy submerged tree with quarry skin growing all over it, as the quarry
slowly claims the tree as its own.

And here’s me, swimming down into it like a fool. It’s a wonder I wasn’t grabbed.

Proof that I can swim down 15 feet and retrieve a Gatorade bottle full of gravel.
Except, I was actually putting it back in this picture (look to the left of my ass).
The picture doesn’t show the blood that was surely streaming out of my ears from the
pain and pressure. There’s another 35 or 40 feet of water below me there.

The fish and I check each other out back over by the submerged tree. To my credit,
I’d like to point out that I did a remarkable job of not showing how wild my
imagination was going during all this. It’s FUCKING creepy down by the tree, where
the dead things live.