One of the forgotten
From time to time, on nights when we can’t find anything to watch and are aimlessly flipping channels, Robyn and I find ourselves on the Animal Planet channel, watching the show Animal Cops. Invariably, one of the stories in the show will deal with a neglected canine chained in someone’s backyard. In many of these vignettes, the dogs have been chained for so long that the skin of their neck has grown up around the chain, requiring the chain to be surgically removed.
It’s truly heartwrenching to see.
When we see such a story, we talk about it, feel sad about it, and wonder how the hell someone could treat an animal so poorly. We ask what could cause a person to stand by and do nothing while their dog’s chain worked its way deeper and deeper into the dog’s neck.
And then yesterday I read the story of 40-year-old Gayle Laverne Grinds of Golden Gate, Florida.
The 911 call came Tuesday night around quarter till nine, by Gayle’s brother and his girlfriend. They reported that Gayle was having trouble breathing because of her emphysema. What the paramedics found when they got to Gayle’s house was something so nightmarish as to defy adequate description.
The paramedics arrived at the duplex to find Gayle — a 4-foot, 10-inch woman weighing 480 pounds — lying on a couch in the den. She’d lain on that same couch, without getting up, for six years, shitting, pissing, and eating in place.
Let me repeat that: She’d lain on that same couch, without getting up, for six years, shitting, pissing, and eating in place.
Feces caked the floor and walls in a blanket of filth so horrendous the rescuers had to don protective gear for the six hours it took to rescue Gayle. Because of the foulness, fresh air had to be constantly piped in over that six hours.
You’re asking yourself right now, I can hear it, Fred, why did it take six hours for the paramedics to get Gayle out?
Because when they tried to get Gayle off the couch, she screamed in excruciating agony. Inspection revealed that her skin had fused to the couch. She stayed on the couch for so long it had become a part of her. Or her of it.
It took six hours because the rescuers had to build a stretcher able to hold Gayle and the couch to get them out of the duplex. They had to remove sliding glass doors, slide Gayle and the couch through and onto the stretcher, then load them onto the back of a flatbed attached to a pickup so they could be towed to the hospital. Fitting them into an ambulance was impossible.
Gayle died in the hospital about 90 minutes later, while doctors were working to separate her from the couch. The cause of death is listed as “morbid obesity”.
Her neighbors had no idea she lived there, because they’d never seen her. The man who calls himself her husband — he lived there in the duplex with her, but officials could find no record of a marriage — said, “I tried to get her to get up, but it wouldn’t do no good.”
This story is so wrong on so many levels I can’t wrap my mind around it. It’s been on my mind ever since I read it, bugging me like a scab begging to be picked at, and all I have is question after question.
What was she thinking when she lay down on the couch that first time? What did she feel when she realized she couldn’t get up again, even if she wanted to? Why didn’t she ask for help, even when she started shitting herself?
What must those last hours have been like? Can you imagine your last bit of time on earth filled with looks of horror and pity while your last shred of dignity as a human being is stripped away by the ride through town on a trailer? Did she regret anything? How did she feel?
What must it have been like for the paramedics? Can you fathom wading through feces so thick you have to wear protective clothing? What was it like to spend six hours in that situation? Do they need counseling now?
How the fuck could her “husband” stand by and do nothing? Who willfully lives — literally — in a shithole? What about her brother? Where was he for six years?
Most bothersome of all, though, is the response I’ve seen online. Forums (not mine, thank God), message boards, chat, personal sites. People laughing at her, putting her down, mocking her, devoting entire pages to making light of this woman’s horrible death. I can’t wrap my mind around callousness of that magnitude. How do they do it?
I know there are personal responsibility issues here. God knows I know about those. I also suspect this story particularly bothers me because I feel a certain kinship with morbidly obese people. But Jesus, for her “husband” to stand by and let her lay there so long she grew into the couch? And for people to laugh about it, to blithely say she got what she deserved because she was so lazy? What the fuck? No one deserves to die like that, lying in a mountain of their own feces with their skin grafted to the fabric of a couch.
What the hell is wrong with people?
Update: A new story with more information can be found here.
I had not even heard anything about this until I read your update. I can’t imagine what life must have been like for her. I just can’t fathom what her reality was like.
I’m in agreement with you Fred, why wasn’t her “husband” or anyone else for that matter letting that go on for so long? It’s really sad that her last years of life were that horrific. And as far as people making fun of her, they should be ashamed.
~D~
I think it is pointless to try to make sense out of something so senseless. There is obviously some mental illness at work here, both in her case and the case of the “husband.” The question is not “how is this reasonable,” because there is no reason involved.
As for the asshats making fun, well, there are some SMALL, SMALL people out there.
I hadn’t heard of this either and I am just at a loss for words. I have a knot in my throat and tears in my eyes and the fact that people would no could actually find humor in this is beyond me as a human being. How humiliated she must have felt.
Oh, but it does make the ending to “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape” that much more meaningful, eh?
It’s horrifying. How can it happen? Well, we’ll probably never know, but maybe we can look out for our neighbors and friends and try to prevent the next one.
The excruciating pain she must have been in (physically and mentally) is unfathomable. I feel terrible for her.
Well, some people have no heart. I guess they will stop making fun of Ronald Reagan now……..
That is so grotesque. The poor woman.
Do you have a link to the story?
Robin I have a link but I have no idea where Fred got the pic from. Here’s what I found after reading his update.
http://www.topix.net/search/?q=Laverne+Grinds
I hope I did this right.
~D~
I would never make a joke out of this situation but this woman probably had a lot of mental problems just as much as her husband. I am a registered nurse and happened to work in a long term care facility a few months ago. There was a woman who wasn’t much different from this lady in that she lived on her couch but she wasn’t obese. Still by the time she got to the hospital she had a huge, deep bedsore that went right down to the bone. It took 2 nurses over 1 hour to change the dressing and she had to be heavily medicated during the change. I doubt that this woman you are talking about actually had any skin left from where she was attached to the couch considering the amount of feces and urine that were there, her whole bottom must have been one giant open wound right down to her bones. The woman that I met definately had a lot of emotional problems and yet even when I met her would have been quite happy to go back home to her couch. I never met the person who took care of her but after meeting her I don’t doubt that this person probably felt powerless to do anything to help her. You don’t have to accept medical care if you don’t want it. A person can say that they are going to call an ambulance but as long as you are conscious you can tell the ambulance attendents to take a hike and there is nothing they can do. I feel terribly sorry for this woman, I can’t imagine why she did not look for help sooner.
In related news, this story is a little more hopeful.
http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/health/9363994.htm?1c
How horrifying. The whole deal is just horrifying. People are laughing about it? Good God! I’m in sheer disbelief about it all. How sad that there are people pathetic enough to laugh at a person like this poor woman. How good are their lives, I wonder? What do they have going on? Probably nothing, since they get pleasure out of something so awful.
That is just… unbelievable.
Thank you for putting this in a better perspective. I read the story over at a certain Uncle’s journal and wanted to puke at his reaction. I felt so sorry for this lady. Thanks for giving her back some dignity.
I heard this story yesterday and it made me so sad. She had to have been mentally ill herself…I mean a normal minded person doesn’t just sit in their own filth for X amount of years.
The people who are laughing at this are complete asses. GRR!
I heard about this story yesterday. It is heartbreaking on so many levels. As far as people’s reaction to the story, I have often tried to figure out how people can find humor in someone else’s misfortune. On some level, I am glad that I am not able to understand it. I think those people live on the surface of life…never really looking deeply at anything. It is sad.
By the way Fred, you do your best writing when commenting on important issues. Amazingly moving entry.
Fred,
I had not heard that story and it is quite sad. Thank you for using such compassion when telling this story. My heart goes out for her, because obviously there was a major problem there. Hopefully she is in a better place now.
This is just another example of man’s inhumanity to his fellow man (or wife in this case). The really sad thing is this does not even shock or surprise me that this could happen at all. I have heard and seen so many horror stories I think I have become totally desensitized. And as far as people who laugh at these things, that is out of sheer fear on their part. The old “there but for the grace of God goes me” thing.This could happen to ANYONE and deep down we all know that, thus the totally misplaced laughter out of sheer terror. Too bad!
Ditto, Fred. I thought the same way as you, had all of the same questions.
Amen.
People disparage what they are most afraid they may have inside themselves. I believe the people who laugh at this story are the ones most fearful that they themselves could be in a disastrously out of control situation at some point. When they state that “she got what she deserved,” wahat they are really saying is that they hope THEY don’t deserve something like that. I think the story is heartbreaking for all involved, be they the paramedics, the doctors or the woman herself. It’s definitely an example of how a life can spiral out of control … and while I don’t believe this particular scenario happens to many people, life is unpredictable, and none of us can know what may come our way. We should all be looking out for each other …
Here I’ve been waiting and waiting for you to post ANYTHING, Fred, and then you nearly break my heart with this entry. I, too, feel that your best writing comes when you merely comment on the insanity in our world.
Thanks for the reality check today.
I am moved beyond tears and outraged. I think, that they should put that “husband” of hers away for a very long time. Preferably on a couch, for 6 years, shitting and pissing himself.
Thank you SO much for the sensitivity you showed in this journal entry. I too, read this first in another person’s online diary, and was appalled at the comment section. Comments were flying about how if “she would have just stopped shoving Taco Bell in her mouth and got off the couch” and “if she ate less and moved more this shouldn’t have happened” to “she’s a fat lazy dumbass who deserved what she got”. Let me tell them something: once you get to a certain level of physical illness and age it can become impossible to lose weight. If you are so sick that you can’t get up, you can exist on lettuce leafs and still maintain a 400lb weight. I personally saw this happen to my ex FIL who was diebetic and had heart failure problems. He weighed 380lbs, and ate just once a day, and it was a small meal, belive me. I lived there, I KNEW. The congestive heart failure caused massive amounts of fluid to accumulate, and age, medications and being unable to move at all kept the weight and fluid on. And her so called husband probably had no clue how to care for her medically, altho cleaning up the toilet mess would have been a start. As someone else said, the couch fusion was most likely due to bed sores, she literally healed to the couch material. Like you, I found the story incredibly sad more than horrifying. SHe was so young. A combination of obesity and depression probably put her there, and once there, well, all obese people probably know the apathy that cycles into staying there. I almost cried when I read it - I felt as you did, how humiliating and horrifyng to find yourself in this situation. I would have *wanted* to die at that point. ANd I wonder if that’s what was going through her mind, too. It’s just sad all around. Again, thanks for being thoughtful and sensitive about it, instead of the other, who, ironically is over 100 lbs overweight him/herself.
I have to agree with Jen, I’m an RN too. I did home health visits full time for almost 14 years and let me tell ya, there’s some nasty living situations out there. I work in long term care now and we had a woman who weighed over 400 lbs, she ultimately died in the hospital.
Bottom line is this, both this woman AND her husband were mentally ill and it’s so unfortunate that someone didn’t call adult protective services and get them both declared mentally incompetent. If this had been done, she could have been taken for medical care against her will. From a medical perspective, I cannot believe she lived as long as she did and didn’t die of sepsis (blood poisoning) sooner, given the amount of tissue involement.
As far as the assmonkeys who find amusement in this? They too are mentally incompetent.
I also am so shocked, I never thought that something like that (getting fused to your couch) could happen, unfathomalbe. That poor woman, no one deserves that kind of life. I work in a doctor’s office that treats overweight individuals and one man, he is about 25 is over 500 lbs, he won’t stop eating tho, everytime he comes in he is heavier and heavier. This is so sad.
Indeed this is a sad story and even sadder is how some have reacted to it.
Wow.
When I went for my sleep apnea test, the technicians were talking about a woman who came in and was about 5 foot nothing and about 400+lbs and she carried around a stool with her and a cane. And every few steps, she had to stop and sit on the stool.
They were kind of laughing about it, but I think it was more the sense of just totally not understanding how morbid, indeed, obesity can be. I said, “Wow, how sad for her.” And they nodded.
Everyone’s said it — this is just truly sad.
Fred,
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Well, I for one, am not laughing about this. I feel so terrible for her & angry with her “caregivers” for not giving any. What a terrible way to end your life.
that’s horrible
and so unfunny
it had to be kids laughing at her right?
ive seen so many things on not only tv-shows, daytime-dramas, etc about morbidly obese folks but this has to be the worse. her husband should be given a death sentence, literally.
Fred has surfaced after a month leave to bring us this story. What about the quarry it was getting interesting!
at some point you’d think the other person/people living in the same duplex would have called authorities about the smell.
sad, very sad
There’s a forum that I’ve been reading (and occasionally posting on) for several years. And I was shocked to find a thread there full of jokes and giggles about this terrible story.
It’s horribly sad, so tragic and disturbing I don’t even know what to say. I’m relieved to read comments about it from people who didn’t think it was funny.
Wow Fred - I am speechless. I heard briefly about this but I honestly didn’t think it was true. Or I prayed it wasn’t true is more like it. There are more and more examples of societies lack of compassion - where does all this come from? This hatred or loathing, whatever you want to call it - where is it coming from? Movies, books - I don’t know but it really scares me. I am raising 2 children in this world and that is a very scary thing. My husband is an EMT and I can assure you - things like that are not just another day on the job. Most people are in the field because they are caring - it’s the one’s that care that lose the most sleep!!! Great thought-provoking entry Fred.
I am sitting here in tears reading your story. Living in the north…we have not heard of this story yet. I say yet because I KNOW that there will be a dig about it on one of the many late night..comedy shows. How sad have we all become that our own lives are so shallow that we have to take pleasure or humor in someone elses sadness/tragedy. I can’t or simply do not want to imagine how she felt. If she had to die in that amount of pain and humiliation, how did she live? I can only imagine there was as little compassion for her while she was here. I think the only consolation for her is that where ever she is now, she is finally at peace and hopefully in a place where she receives the kindness and love and compassion that she was so neglected of here. We should all be ashamed of ourselves for allowing this to happen to ANYONE, human or animal.
I don’t even know how to comment on this. I feel numb. Why? How? Having been morbidly obese for many years myself, I know about the feelings of hopelessness and loss of dignity, but this goes beyond anything I can comprehend. Honestly, how anyone who can call himself or herself a human being could stand by and facilitate this kind of tragedy is beyond me as well. Mental illness on some level is sure to have played a part for both the woman and her husband, but how could neighbors, mailmen, landlords, passersby, etc. have not known there was something seriously wrong here? What truly breaks my heart is there are others out there dying of this mental/physical disease in prisons that are their homes that don’t make the news. The shame that accompanies morbid obesity is so overwhelming, that it prevents people who suffer from it from being able to seek help before it is too late in so many cases.
I have been following this tragic story with such disbelief. For one, I can’t imagine how Gayle’s “husband” could let this go on for so long. Regardless of any mental conditions that may have been present, how could he live in such conditions himself??
I am sure Gayle’s brother knew of this situation, and I too wonder about his lack of intervention. I think of 6 years going by, while the seasons were changing and Christmas and Thanksgivings were coming and going, and Gayle was just living inside her couch in her own feces. If in fact it is true of what I am reading and hearing on the news, how can it be that she was able to sustain such deadly infections accompanied by living in her own human waste for so long. What about the pain of bed sores and her skin being literally eaten away. Neighbors really knew of nothing, that is so sad and unbelievable. If there were no fans or air conditioning in her home, weren’t the windows ever opened for air circulation. I have so many questions I want answered, if not for my own peace of mind, but for any justice that may be needed for Gayle Grinds. I don’t believe that this lady didn’t want any help. Why didnt she just scream out to neighbors? There is so much more to this sad story than we really know. Please keep me posted. Criminal actions should be taken against somebody.
People can be so cruel.
Have you read this story Fred?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5670919/?GT1=4529
At least people are willing to help this guy!
I’m not laughing, or finding pleasure in her pain, but why is there this urge to blame this on her “husband” or neighbors — to make someone else pay by going to jail? God knows, there could be someone in equal distress living across the street from me right now, and I’d certainly never know it if she never came out of the house. As sad as this case is, we need to resist the impulse to blame bystanders when the woman who had the most to suffer as a result of this situation didn’t take action. Anyone who has ever tried to motivate someone else to stop drinking, stop eating so much, exercise, stop taking drugs, etc. knows how useless it is in the long run.
Laurie, barring mental illnesses of his own, the husband has culpability here because he saw that the situation had become untenable and dangerous, and did nothing. This wasn’t about a lack of motivation, this was about a woman who was dying. Dying. Dying with skin so abraded it healed into the fabric on which she sat. Dying in her own waste. Dying, slowly, in the most horrific fashion while the husband stood by and watched. 911 should’ve been called about 5 years and 11.5 months ago, and if he is simply cruel and callow beyond words (which I try hard not to let myself believe, because I don’t want to believe that a human could possibly be so debased) and not mentally ill, there is no excuse for why he did not do so.
I hope you sharing this story with others is an eye opener and I hope we all see things a lot differently now.
I’m speechless. I cannot fathom how anyone could not see that this woman needed help. To say that he tried to get her up and just couldn’t isn’t good enough. If he couldn’t get her up then get HELP. She didn’t deserve to die that way.
Fred - So much better to read your take on this situation than the other bits I’ve seen on the www.. I live in the area where this happened and have been thoroughly disturbed since this event took center stage on the local news. I was mostly saddened by the careless way this story was retold again and again. Maybe I have a morbid fascination but the grisly details have me awake at night trying to figure out how Gayle Grinds could be so sad and why anyone would be so awful to point and giggle at such an obvious display of sadness.
My daddy says “There is a whole lot of sadness in this world - baby girl” - I guess that he’s right but then again he usually is.
It makes me wonder, if just someone could have, or rather would have reached out to this poor lady and been a friend to her that she would have never reached this terrible state.
In a video clip the husband was interviewed. The man really seemed unable to grasp what had happened. He also seemed unable to see that the living situation was horrific. It didn’t look like mental illness as much as the man appeared to be very low functioning mentally.
The one recurring thought I’ve had since I read this is that a neighborhood busybody would have been a blessing in this case.
This is really sad, especially when you think that one of the reasons she probably never moved was because of embarassement and fear of being hurt - only to have the last hours of her life spent in that agony. Were they really saving her by bringing her outside where she could be photographed. The world is a sad place.
There is NO EXCUSE TO BE THAT OBESE. She didn’t get like that overnight. She is the only one to blame. As the old saying goes. “GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES”
Dear Fred, I too had been unaware of this story until your email. My heart just aches for this poor woman and the life she led, not even mentioned in her high school yearbook…and the humility she must have endured during the final years of her life. I am in total agreement with you! Although I’d like to believe that my own life could never have spun that far out of control I can certainly relate some to her lack of will for life…one just never knows for sure. I too feel a certain kinship with the morbidly obese. My heart aches terribly for this woman. I also must wonder where those who ’supposedly’ cared for her were during this time. Sometimes tough love is the only kind of love that will help. Those who could fine any kind of humor in this story need to check themselves. We have to believe that there are many more of us that feel compassion in this story. There is nothing funny about human suffering and a life so unjustly lived…and lost.
Dave, you are going on the assumption that the woman wasn’t suffering from mental illness. One can only “help one’s self” if one is capable of realizing one is in danger. The lady may have been no more capable of that realization than a small child who runs into traffic.
I ran across this page when trying to find more information on this lady and her situation. In the search I found many sites, which some of you have mentioned where people made light of her plight and blamed her for “just not getting up”. I feel compelled to put in my “two cents” somewhere.. so here goes.
The fact is.. this woman had family.. a “boyfriend/husband” that lived there, a sister that went over every once in a while, in her own words, a brother, and many friends in the neighborhood who knew that she existed. At 300 pounds, she was still active and involved in the community. She fell and broke her leg so severely that she was “couch-ridden” for a year with pins in her leg, consequentely gaining another 100 pounds in the meantime. After that, when she tried to get up, she broke that same leg again and was “couch ridden” once more, gaining more weight. Now.. once she started to just lay there and gain, with no way to physically get up… what could she have done?? Once her healing process was over, she was far to gone to be able to help herself any longer. Her family are the ones who failed her, they left her in that state and walked away. How sad that they did not care enough for this woman to ensure that she had proper care. Can you imagine laying on your couch, unable to move because you have pins in a healing broken leg and deficate on yourself and noone care??
This really hit home for me, and I have been heartsick and furious all morning. You see, I was morbidly obese since around 1997, I had weight issues my whole life before that. In Feb of 2003 I weighed 300 pounds. I understood that I had a problem that was spiralling out of control despite all of the new diet pills, the excersise routines tried by different doctors and physical trainers. I was lost and knew I needed more help than that. I underwent Gastric Bypass surgery in Feb of 2003 and am now at 160. I Can relate to this woman so much, it hurts. Had I not had that surgery… I could have wound up in the same situation, except, my family would never let me lay in my own feces, force me to live in those conditions nor give up on me.
The family should be held accountable. No, maybe it wasn’t thier responsibility to “take care of her”. But they have an obligation to ensure someone does. A simple call to social services, a doctor, the police, someone, could have saved this womans life! Instead, she died in the height of humiliation, with excrutiating pain after living a life in pure hell for heaven knows how long.
How sad that people make the comment that she should have just got up or stopped eating, for one they have not read the entire story… she couldnt physically get up until it was too far gone, and for two, obesity does not work that way.
Her family will have to live with what they put her through, and I hope and pray that they feel every bit as ashamed as they should!
Thank you Fred, for the forum to be able to voice how I feel over this, and tha
I’ve shed a lot of tears about this since I first heard about it. How humiliating and frightening. Compulsive overeating can kill you; it’s not funny. What really upset me, too, is that her sister worked for Adult Protective Services and her job was to help people like Gayle. That her family turned their back on her is just sad.
Just made me cry too read about this poor women..
My initials are the same as hers. I am morbidly obese like her. If my leg was broken twice I would have been in the same condition. Health care “professionals” hate you. No one wants to touch you, much less help with toilet care (thank God I don’t need that yet!) My house has not been cleaned thoroughly since I don’t know how long, I am unable to do it in the time I am not at work or church or quilt class or riding the cart to shop at Wal-Mart at night when fewer people will see and despise me. I have always tried to grapple with my weight but lack endurance to continue any length of time when my only solace seems to be food. I don’t think I am too far from understanding Gayle. Especially when I wake up and the effort required to get going is so great. I am inspired by her, not just saddened. My doctor said I would end up needing an ambulance called one day. I fear being scorned, like the Mother on Gilbert Grape. Seeing the end of my course, I keep going as long and as much as possible. To work, to class, to the store, to church. Making as many connections as I can so that I will not be forgotten or unloved. Anyone who has ever loved a fat person is a kinder person–they look beyond the seen to the spirit within, where the truth lies. Thank you Fred for your love for Gayle.
My god. The hell that poor woman must have been going through - it truly boggles the mind. How sad…I hope she’s finally at peace and pain-free.
I read about Gayle on firehouse.com. I was horrified at the story, not because I thought she was disgusting, but how horrible she must have felt to get to that stage. How lonely and depressed she must have been to be stuck to that couch day in and day out, eating, watching TV and not being able to move. How humiliating and degrading for her. And shame on her sister who was a nurse, who decided it was better to turn her eyes from the situation than do something about it. It makes me want to reach out to those who are morbidly obese and tell them, there IS hope and they have much value! And it’s so sad that she was an unknown woman…until she died.
I pray for her soul, and hope she’s healthy and happy wherever she is now…
Hi Fred,
Im moved to tears (and action,personally Im fixed-the wieght comes off now,new revelation,thank YOU) As a mam of God (JESUS). I pray Gail is With the Father. Poor baby, the Focus on the family author and speaker Dr. James Dobson said,qoute;When we are most unlovely is when We MOST need to be LOVED,Profound don”t You think.
Fred,You give Me {295lbs} hope,thank YOU Blessings
Tony Martinez
No one here has pointed out yet that there are, even in notoriously incompetent states such as Florida, state departments of social services, sometimes called the Public Guardian.
Any neighbor or police officer could have called them. Her sister, the social worker, should have called them, and didn’t. It’s been said that her husband is mentally ill or possibly disabled, but the sister obviously functions well enough to hold a job, and knows what a social worker is, and knows what a public guardian is. Her sister was also not the only sibling Ms. Grinds had.
As to those blaming Ms. Grinds herself, she was physically disabled — did she have access to a phone? And, to some extent, she must have been mentally ill as well. Again, anyone could have called the police, who would have involved social services on some level. No one did, until the end.
Whoops — I meant cousin, not sister. She has a sister, but it is the cousin who is a social worker and whom Ms. Grinds had chosen to be guardian of Grinds’ adopted children. Those were the children of one of her sisters who had died. Grinds was there for her family; it’s a shame her family wasn’t there for her.
i was overwhlemed with saddnes when i seen this story about a obese woman on nip/tuck.
today i read in radar magazine that the story line was about a real person. my sadness deepened. questions need to be addressed so this can be prevented in the future. i am morbid obese and am alone a lot.i wonder about the holidays . gayle was so well thought of, did no one contac her one these holidays when familes are so important?
I live only a few minutes away from where this woman lived, and died. Her story stuck in my soul like a fishook, and at the time of this writing, almost two years later, it still bothers me. This was a woman whose closest friends and relatives, even the man who called himself her husband, wouldn’t do what was necessary to save this poor woman’s life. The horror of sitting in your own filth for an hour would be more than most people could stand, or would let someone else endure…. These people, particularly Herman Thomas, her live-in boyfriend, knew. He knew she was not getting up to go to the bathroom, the apartment stank so bad they had to use industrial fans to ventilate it, just for the rescue workers to be able to stand it. The first crews went in wearing scuba tanks. It was that bad. So, my question is this; Why didn’t he do something? He was an alcoholic, yes. But he would go inside only to get beer out of the fridge, then he would go back out and sit under the tree. Tree sitting is very popular in that neighborhood, as most of the male residentsof that section of town are unemployed, unless you consider selling crack as employment. The people who live in these rough areas of town are usually the last people in the world to trust authority, as most of them know stories of crooked cops and horror stories about the Department of Children and Families getting involved with your life and being very intrusive. They hate the thought of another person, especially a person who doesn’t share their same economic hardships and family problems, tell them what to do. Dirt poor and dirt proud, as my grandmother used to say. I know that this seems racist, or at least class-ist, but I know how these people are. I’m not talking about race, but about a certain type of personality, one in which they had rather go through incredible hardship and pain, rather than expose the depths that they had sunken to. I feel that shame and embarassment kept this woman from reaching out. And while she is out of pain, there are others out there who are in desperate situations as well. And like Gayle, they won’t ask for help until it’s too late.
[…] Oh.My.God. Fred… rocks. […]
Does anyone know what happened to the Gayle’s so-called husband & family now? Were they charged or jailed?
Anyone who gains so much weight must be mentally ill or mentally retarded. No one but herself is to blame for this.
HA HA!