j050205 (imported)
February 5, 2005
We’ve been having a problem with Mister Boogers. As is well-known, he’s a mostly fearless little thing, eager to explore new territory. A wild man, of sorts, who will get into anything:
Mister Boogers also loves to go outside and explore in the back yard. A few weeks ago, his explorations granted him an incredible find: he could jump to the top of the six foot fence, and get over it. Get out of the yard. Obviously, this was a bad thing for us, as we’ve already lost one cat this way.
I determined to find a way to stop the booger.
I spent a goodly amount of time researching cat fences, and found that most of them are made out of nothing more than chicken wire or garden netting. Rather than spend an assload of money for a "cat fence kit", I opted to go to Lowe’s and just by what I needed. For less than $100, I got more cat fence materials than the $175 kit I found.
One cold, blustery Saturday morning a few weeks back, I got out and put up the netting to stop Mister Boogers cold the next time he tried to jump the fence:
We let Mister Boogers out, and thought all was well. For a few days, it was. Then one day we couldn’t find him. I stood in the yard, calling in a loud gay voice, and several minutes later he came sailing over the fence pictured above, from the neighbor’s yard.
I went inside and watched him from the window to see what he was doing. After a few minutes, I saw. The fence running along the outside of our subdivision and our backyard had sagged, leaving a big gap between it and the end of our neighbor’s fence. I thought I’d gotten the gap covered with netting, but I hadn’t done it well enough.
The booger was slipping through the gap.
I called him back, then put up more netting:
I let him out again when I was done, and went to watch from the window. He sniffed around the yard for a bit, then when he thought it was safe, slunk back to the corner and leaped to go through the gap.
He was denied in a most comical way, bouncing back off the netting and back to the ground. It took him a few tries, but he finally realized he couldn’t get through.
I thought that was the end of it, until the day I broke my toe. It hurt so bad I finally went to a doc-in-the-box near our house to see if they could do anything to ease the pain and pressure. I got tired of waiting and came home without seeing the doctor. When I got back, Robyn was gone.
And so was Mister Boogers.
He’d found another way out, you see. Or figured out how to get over the netting. We spent almost an hour out looking for him with no luck before he wandered back on his own, wide-eyed and feigning innocence.
Robyn and I discussed it, and decided it was time for the big guns: an electric radio fence, designed to deliver a safe zap of static doom to Mister Boogers when he gets too close to the fence.
The system came, and after reading over the documentation I ran the wire this morning. First around the perimeter of the fence along the ground:
You can barely see it, which is good.
Ignore the weeds, please.
And then again along the top. I’m a firm believer in redundant backups:
I hooked the leads to the central unit and plugged it in. I put the watch batteries into the collar. I set the boundary of the fence. Then I touched my fingers to the leads on the collar and walked into the zap zone. The collar beeped, then it ticked, indicating that it was delivering a safe static charge of deterrence into me.
I felt nothing.
Perplexed, I tried it again. And again. Nothing. I touched my tongue to the leads, to see if that would make a difference. It didn’t. I tried new batteries, to no avail. I took off my shoes, to see if the soles were keeping me from the zapola. Nothing. Finally I called the manufacturer and explained the situation.
"They told me when I ordered it that I’d be able to feel it," I said.
"You should be able to."
Turns out the collar was on setting one, the lowest setting. The helpful customer service guy walked me through setting the power level on the collar, which involves the use of a nifty little keychain you just touch to a special white dot on the collar.
Apparently I didn’t read enough of the instructions to find that part.
I set the collar on level three, and walked toward the zone.
"If I scream like a girl," I said into the phone, "you won’t tell anyone, right?"
He allowed that he wouldn’t. I stepped into the zone.
And got the bizzap of doom.
"HOLY COW!" I shrieked in my manliest girl voice.
"I take it it works?"
"Yeah!"
I hung up and immediately called my wife out to try it. She screamed like a girl, dropped the collar, and danced a jig, laughing the whole time.
Fearing that it was set a little high for someone as small as the booger, I set the collar for level two and put it on him. He fought it for a few minutes, not used to the constriction on his scrawny neck. Then, he raced around the perimeter of the yard like a madcat, his collar ticking angrily as it delivered a safe static charge to deter him.
Mister Boogers was not deterred.
I set the collar on level three and tried again.
Mister Boogers sat in the zone, licking his ass while the collar zapped.
I tried level four.
Mister Boogers didn’t even notice.
So I tried level five.
The results were nothing short of amazing. And funny, oh so funny.
There’s an old saying that a picture is worth a thousand words, and that may well be true. I don’t have a picture of Mister Boogers getting the zap ‘o doom.
Mister Boogers won’t even go outside right now, having received the safe static charge two times so far.
I consider him deterred.
hehehehehehhehehehehehe!
that makes me wanna buy one just for kicks.
My cat Sidney is a lot like Mister Boogers - not scared of ANYTHING and always into EVERYTHING…that being said, laugh now but I betcha he’ll find a way around the Zapper.
I hope he doesn’t and that he stays safe in the yard, I’m just sayin’…the little bastards are SMART.
Fred, you meany. Laughing like that!
Actually, it was kinda funny.
You may not scream like one but you certainly do giggle like a girl!
Poor Mr. Boogers. Just remember…cat payback is a real bitch.
cough, laugh, hack, cough, laugh, hack, laugh, cough …
simply hilarious …
thanks!
ROTFLMSOOOO
LOL I need to get that for the dog, might be easier than getting the fencing that has been sitting in a roll in the yard for six months actually put up 
Do you ummm think that I could umm get in trouble for using that thing on the kids?
Thanks for the giggle.. I’m sure that was Robin Giggling right
Hah!
Beanie, you deserved it! Now stay INSIDE THE FENCE!
We had to use that with our dog and we also shocked ourselves before letting him near it. He got shocked 3 times and it was enough. He stayed about 3 feet away from the fence after that. We only had it plugged in that first week and didn’t need it after that.
Good luck!
That was hilarious. Is he the only escaping cat?
Thanks, now I have clean snot off my keyboard.
Fred–
I feel a little bit mean…but I couldn’t help but laugh like a loon at that. To laugh at a poor dumb animal…something seems a little bit wrong with that!!!! LOL
The vertical catrobatics are great..but it’s the goonie laugh that makes the video.
LOL I laughed more at the giggling Fred, than at the Beanster. That is great!!
LMAO!
)
I played that video about 6 or 7 times just laughing like an idiot! But who was that little girl giggling in the background?
LOLOLOL!!!
That was great Fred!
LOLOLOLOLOLOL . . great Fred as usual!
omg…weeeeze….weeeeze….my daughter and i are sitting here watching it over and over and just can’t stop laughing. omg that is great. we need one!!!
thanks!!
that was hilarious! i cant stop watching it…we so need to get one of those
WOW! My husband is sooooo gonna want to go get one of those for our 3 morons!
I watched the video and am a little skeptical, I have my money on Mr. B, because I just think he was born to roam.
Good luck and stay away from the fence.
Liza
America’s Funniest Home Videos… totally! lol!!!
Is that just a regular invisible fence? We’re looking at a house that has a system already installed, and we were wondering if it was safe and/or would contain our cats.
Also: good thing you ran the wire across the top, too… Beanie flipped so high he could have involuntarily vaulted over the top!
I sat here with tears rolling down my face I was laughing so hard.
Oh my GOD! As I started watching the video, I knew the zap was coming, but I had no idea Mister Boogers’ reaction was going to be so flippy! He just zoomed right outta there. Oh my God that was so funny.
(it really doesn’t hurt him, right?)
I think the video is hilarious, and I would like to explain what happened. I work with ESD testing of consumer related products and we do 2 ESD tests - contact and air gap. Contact is when you discharge a test probe while in contact with the product and air gap is when you approach the object with a charged probe. When you discharge a probe into your finger, you can get a pretty good shock at 4000 volts(4KV). With an air gap (like fur holding the charged collar away), the air acts as an insulator, and it takes a large charge to overcome the air insulation. Mr B. probably got about 12KV, which is pretty good zap, about the same as touching a doornob in winter. I still say better a zapped cat than a missing cat, but maybe they should have warned you about long hair vs. short hair cats, as the size of the air gap makes a big difference. Anyway, it’s good that he’ll probably stray no more.
even funnier is your laugh in the background….
That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all week. Thank you for sharing.
The video is pricesless but the lauging behind the camera is the best!!!
OMG too funny! LOL! our 2 boys are inside kitties, but believe me, I am a big believer in the Scat Mat (same principle) I got it when my Siamese Java decided it was very fun to sit on my new leather chair and pop is big honkin’ fangs through it. It’s now on our pool table since our other cat Jazz, decided that that was a GREAT place to lay, and of course, occasionally hork on.
To anyone who might think it cruel, I have to say, a quick shock is not inhumane, and if it teaches them QUICKLY (as it does) it’s a wonderful tool for training. Esp. in the case of Meester Boogers since it’s a safety issue!
(OK and it was freakin’ hilarious too!)
Kitty