vituperation

After much advice from many sources, I told my co-worker that I’d possibly managed to lose a snake in my car. She took the news pretty well, and told me that she’d accept the risk of a possible snake sighting on the way to Ocoee. She also told other people about how I managed to lose a snake in my car. They told people, who told people…

I suspect it will be a while before I live this down.

As the day warmed, I noticed the distinct smell of snake musk (yes, it’s a definite smell, one you won’t soon forget should you ever sniff a snake) rising in my car. I started worrying more and more that the snake hadn’t really fallen out of the towel before I got in yesterday, that he’d escaped in the car and was now hiding somewhere, waiting to terrorize my friend tomorrow.

So I searched, and searched, and searched, to no avail. I fretted over the snake dying in my car, about how it would reek to high heaven until the snake rotted away. Mostly, though, I was sad at the thought of killing something out of sheer dumbassery. I got no problem with killing something that needs killing, but I didn’t want to kill a poor snake just because I wanted to take it home and show it off.

Maybe I should join PETA.

Just kidding.

Finally, I drove the car home around 10:30 and swapped it out for my wife’s. I left all the doors wide open in hopes that the snake, were he actually in there, would come out. I decided that I’d just drive Robyn’s car to Ocoee tomorrow, to completely rule out the possibility of a snake encounter on the drive, and went back to work.

We went out to eat (Mexican, woot!) when I got home from work and we took my car. The snake smell was definitely gone, and I thought maybe he’d slipped out sometime during the day, if he was actually in there at all. Then again, maybe the open doors had just let all the snake stank out. After we got home, I left all the doors open again and went into the house.

About a half-hour ago, it started to rain, and I ran outside to shut all the doors so the inside of my car wouldn’t smell like snake and mildew.

Lying on the driveway under the back end of the car, I found…

My little buddy, escaped from the car!

Why yes, yes I did bring him into the house.

After all that, Mister Boogers was less than impressed with the snake.
Matter of fact, he went all pussy and backed off, hissing.

The more I look at the pictures, the more I think I was wrong in my classification of the snake as an eastern kingsnake. If you know what kind this is, feel free to let me know in the comments. I’m starting to lean more towards gray rat snake the more I look at him.

In any case, I popped him into a Tupperware container and raced over to Rainbow Mountain, where I deposited him, hopefully none the worse for wear, back in his home. It’s nice to have some resolution. If I hadn’t seen him, I’d have spent the next few weeks wondering what happened to him.

And now I can drive my snakeless car tomorrow.

If I die rafting, speak well of me at my memorial service, and make sure Robyn dumps my ashes midway up the Waterline Trail, at the toughest part.