vituperation

Adventures in freakdom.

December 31, 2006

Grocery tales

by @ 8:35 am. Filed under Green acres

I stood in front of the candy rack and pretended to study its offerings. What I was really doing was waiting, waiting for a damned Chatty Cathy of a customer who was yukking it up with proprietor of Smallville Corner Grocery. There was only the one other customer in the place, and if he would just leave I could talk to the grocer freely. I didn’t want any other customers around for this, if possible.

Especially not black customers, as this one was.

Finally the man said his goodbyes and went out the door. I grabbed a pack of Dentyne Fire—it’s all about the cinnamon, baby— and set in on the counter.

“That it?” the grocer asked. His rheumy eyes looked weepy behind the thick horn-rimmed glasses that sat astride his nose. A large red blotch covered one cheek, and I wondered if it was some sort of cancerous growth.

“Yessir.”

He punched it up on the register. “One oh three.”

I handed him two singles, but he only took one.

“This is good enough,” he said. He dug three pennies from the penny cup with a liver-spotted finger.

“Thankya.” I searched for the best way to start what I wanted to say. “I have a question for you.”

“What’s that?”

“There’s a young black guy, maybe twenty-five, wire-framed glasses.” I pantomimed, in case he didn’t know what glasses were. “He keeps coming by my house asking for money. I wondered if maybe you knew anything about him.”

He thought for a second, then shook his head.

“‘k, thanks,” I said. “It’s just getting bothersome, and I thought since he was always walking this way that maybe he stopped—”

“He wear a jacket?” the old man asked.

I nodded. “Yessir, he’s always got on a jacket.”

I could see the recognition wash across his face. “I know who you’re talking about. He’s bad news. Just got out of prison. He’s been in there the last three weeks. Stealin’.”

Just great. Fucking great.

“Stealing?”

He nodded. “Wal-mart. He musta got six, seven loads out under his jacket before they caught him. Even took a bunch of rods and reels. Then they let him out of jail early.”

“Great. And now I get to deal with him.”

The old man fixed me with a gimlet eye. “Don’t you give him nothin’.”

Whoops.

“Trust me, I’m not going to,” I said. Any more.

“Every time he comes in here either me or my sister follows him around, t’make sure he don’t take nothing. Some feller gave him a ride over to Decatur a while back…some store over on the Beltline…and he came out with eight or nine bags of stuff.”

“Wow,” I said, secretly kind of glad that I wasn’t the only soft-hearted person foolish enough to fall for his schtick once.

“I know his momma-n-daddy. They know he’s no good, too. He’s on crack, he’s a liar, and a thief.”

At least he doesn’t seem to be violent, thank God. He really comes across as weak in person, but that could be part of the act, to lower defenses. Then again, it could be because he’s a crackhead.

“You know his name?” I asked.

The old man shook his head.

“Well, I told him to get going and stop coming around the other day. If he comes back again, I guess I’ll call the police, let them get up in his business. We’ll see if that keeps him away.”

“Jus’ call and tell ‘em you got a suspicious nigger hangin’ around your place,” he advised. “They’ll get right out.”

I nodded, my ears burning. For some reason, any time someone drops a word like that, I’m the one who gets embarrassed. It always catches me by surprise, even when my own family does it. Especially when my own family does it.

“I’m about to the point of putting up signs and a fence,” I said. “I got an electrician coming out next week to install twelve 250-watt halogen lights around the house. Motion sensitive. I want to set the night on fire if he shows up. I keep a pistol on me, so I’m not worried about him doing anything, but I sure wish he’d just stay away and leave me alone.”

“He’ll be coming around here directly,” the old man said. “’bout eight o’clock. He’ll walk on by and go way on up the road.” He pointed. “There’s an old lady who lives alone up there at the end. I think he’s checking to see if her car’s there and he’s gonna break in if he sees it gone.”

“That’s pathetic,” I said. “He sure had me fooled. I didn’t believe his sob stories at all, but he seemed at least a little shameful about begging me for money.”

“He can act like a good nigger,” the old man said in a dry voice. “But he ain’t one.”

“I guess not.”

I took my Dentyne, thanked the shopkeeper for the information, and left.


Ten minutes later, at just a hair past eight o’clock, I stood in the front room, watching through the slats of the blind as the walkin’ dude passed by on his way toward the corner store. He didn’t look my way.

9 Responses to “Grocery tales”
  1. Karen said:

    Fred, glad to hear how the shopkeeper’s words resounded in your ears. The young man could be any color…it doesn’t make any difference. He’s a pest and now you are aware of his history. Hopefully he’ll stay away.

    Happy New Year’s Eve!

  2. Copper said:

    Ditto, Karen! My jaw actually dropped and I sucked in my breath. When is that kind of crap ever going to end. I know, I know, I’m not that innocent but stuff like that makes me flinch as if I’ve been slapped and I’m not a person of color. Same goes for relgious slurs.
    *stepping down off soap box*
    Lights, etc. sounds like a great idea.

  3. Cara said:

    Not an issue of “race.” There’s plenty of similar scam artists/druggies of all races, though I also don’t like the “N” word.

    Just call the local LE, if he shows up again…if you see him in advance. My husband was in county LE, and had to deal with this type all the time. After he died, and I was alone on our farm (before I sold it) one day this skanky looking white dude showed up, and as he shuffled his feet around, asked if I was selling a small trailer parked down by the barn. (Uh, no, there was no sale sign on it, and in fact, the trailer was almost hidden). At any rate, something struck me as suspicious about him…from his looks to his actions. I think maybe he was actually hoping no one was home, and he could steal the trailer.

    As a widow I just feel safer in town in a quiet neighborhood where I know the neighbors and can get assistance quicker. One of the last things my husband told me was to “move back to town.” And I did.

    However, Robyn and the Spud have you there. Just get to know your local cops/deputies; it’s always nice to know they KNOW you too. Make it a point to get acquainted. MOST of them ARE there to “serve and protect.”

    Happy New year to you, Robyn & Spud!

  4. sammi said:

    I reinterate my suggestion to set out a big old dog dish that looks used plenty, attach a cheap chain, put up Beware of Dog signs and paint a name on the dog dishes like Sarge, etc.
    Po white trash, etc. abound everywhere. Motion dectectors help alot and so do randomly placed alarms.
    He’s already one up on you. Indoor light timers help too. PLEASE TAKE CARE! Oh, and by the way; Happy New Year!
    Your BIGGIST PHAN, Sammi

  5. Karen said:

    Hi Fred!

    I am so glad to see you are posting. I love reading about your life. I mean it’s a pretty semi-normal life (HA), but the way you write makes it so interesting. Please keep posting.

    Happy New Year to you, Robyn, and the Spud.

  6. Bean Dip Girl said:

    You should check out the homesteadingtoday.com forums - they would probably have some advice. Sorry that you are having to deal with this.

  7. M.R. said:

    It really bothers me that people still use the n word and that they assume that if you are white, you will agree with them in using it.

  8. nellymom said:

    I hope those motion lights are up now. Stay safe!

  9. Al said:

    I would be more upset by the walking dude being a known criminal than the language.

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vi·tu·per·a·tion n. Sustained and bitter railing and condemnation: vituperative utterance

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