Telephone line
“This is Fred,” I say when I get the receiver to my ear.
“Hi Fred, this is Investigator Snodgrass with the Sandstone Sheriff’s Office. Your message said you had some questions about trespassing. Has anyone been able to answer those for you yet?”
“Hi. No, I haven’t done anything but leave that message.”
“Okay, what did you need to know?”
“I’m renovating a house down in Smallville, with plans to move there when I’m done, and there’s a guy who keeps coming by all the time. A guy I don’t really want on my property. He’s always wanting money, wanting to know if he can do some work for money, wanting a ride, wanting to use the phone…I know everything he wants. What I want is for him to stay away.”
“Well, if there’s a fence around your property, or a sign, crossing the boundary is automatically criminal trespass, and you can have someone arrested for that.”
“I have some no trespassing signs but I don’t really want to put them up and alienate my neighbors. And I didn’t really want to put a fence around the front yard and look like the town hermit. Or a prisoner.”
“Understood.”
“I asked about this guy down at Bob’s Store and they told me he was a thief and bad news, that he likes to get people to take him to the store so he can steal things. He stopped by this weekend and I lied to him and told him I’d talked to the police and he pretty much admitted to shoplifting.”
“Can you describe him? Is he black or white? How tall is he? What does he look like?”
“He’s black, mid-30’s, and just under six feet tall. Sometimes he wears wire-framed glasses, sometimes not. But he’s always wearing a jacket, no matter what the temperature is, and he’s always got his hands in the pockets. I don’t know if that’s to hide stuff in, or if he’s got a gun in there, or what.”
“I think I know who you’re talking about. You know his name?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Well, I don’t want to say the name I’m thinking of in case I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure I know who you’re talking about.”
“He walks by four or five times a day. You can just about set your clock by him. And if he sees me outside, he stops. Like we’re buddies, or something. We’re not.”
“Understood.”
“You know, all I want is to be left alone. Is there anything legal I can do to make him—”
“You bet. Without a sign or something like a fence, if you tell someone to stay off your property in the presence of a deputy that works just the same. If a deputy witnesses it, and they come back, you can have them arrested for criminal trespass.”
“Really, that’s it?”
“Yep. The next time he shows up, just give us a call and we’ll send a deputy out so you can tell him.”
“I can do that. But…won’t he just walk away when he sees me calling you guys?”
Or worse, try to stop me?
“That’s okay. We’ll pick him up and bring him back so you can tell him.”
Heh.
“He’ll get the message,” he finishes. “I’m not saying he won’t try to retaliate, maybe break something, but this is a first step.”
“I hope he got the message this last time, when I made him mad by telling him I’d already talked to the police about him.”
“I’ll make a note here, and have some extra patrols done in the area since you’re renovating. Make sure he sees us. You might tell your neighbors, too, so they can call us if he comes around.”
“Will do. If I see him again, do I need to call the sheriff’s office directly, or just call 911, or what?”
“You can do either one. Calling 911 just adds another transfer to the list. Our number here is 555-1212. Just tell them—”
you got a suspicious nigger hangin’ around
“—you need a deputy and they’ll send one. I don’t know if it’ll be two minutes or twenty minutes, because of where they might be, but someone will come out and witness you telling him.”
“Okay, will do.”
“After he deals with us, he might get the idea.”
“I hope so.”
Victory is mine, except for moving the rest of the wood.
If only there were someone around Smallville looking for odd jobs…
Check it out, a young hawk stopped by to watch me work on Sunday.
You did what needed to be done. Hopefully he won’t retaliate…
especially with Robyn staying out there alone with just the guard-cats.
-Nancy
Did you install a complete security system yet?
Be sure and alert your neighbors and I bet they keep an eye open for you. Around here we all look out for each other. If we see a strange car/with occupants that we’ve never seen before we keep an eye as to where they go. I’m country living too, so it’s good to have neighbors looking out for you and vice versa. Plus it wouldn’t hurt to post a no trespassing sign. Your neighbors will get to know you and find out your not a hermit or stuck up
It’s for your own protection.
I have no hunting signs all over our back 4 acres. A few of my neighbors didn’t like it, but hey….I’m an animal lover and no way do I want someone hunting the deer or rabbit I feed on a daily basis
The neighbors got over it, cause they know I’m the animal lover in the neighborhood. I swear the strays that are dropped off around here, have a built in radar to my back door…poor babies.
Depending on how country you are, you may find yourself with some strays. The sicko’s that don’t want their animals think nothing of dropping them off in the country. They actually think there doing them a favor that this is better than taking them to the humane society. I hate hate hate these idiots. But I take in their strays feed them, try and find them a home. If I can’t then it’s to the humane society they must go. Well I rattled on long enough. Us old people have a habit of doing that…ha,ha
PS> Next time that guy comes around have your gun in a holster on your hip. Let him know your packing..ha.ha
Patti: No, I didn’t. I can’t go through the house right now.
Mary: I’ve considered wearing my gun in the open, but why show my cards when I don’t need to?
Good for you making a complaint “for the record” and the extra patrols surely can’t hurt. Hopefully, your last encounter ended it!
I do think, IF he comes back, I’d end any expectations for him of EVER doing anything around there. You could always say it has turned out that your budget doesn’t allow for hiring any workers except for major projects that require professionals. And we all know how that has mostly worked out for you
I’m so sorry that you guys have had to put up with this sorry person!
That hawk is waiting for your chickens.I still believe if you made up a story about seeing ghosts on the premises,it would scare him[the walking dude] away. Good luck.Your wood shed looks good. Throw moth balls and lime underneath to deter snakes.
Butttt…!!!
Let me put myself in Walking Guy’s mind and tell you something you may have overlooked…
Fred,you DID tell Walking Guy that you might have some work for him in the Spring and THAT,in itself was,and still IS an invitation for him to drop by eventually EVEN though you had that heart-to-heart with him last week.
Spring may be a ways away,but in his mind he still has an invitation to step onto your property to ask you about your Spring work needs.
YOU HAVE TO TAKE BACK THE SPRINGTIME WORK OFFER because it’s still on the table.
Don’t worry, run - he’s going to get a rude awakening next time he stops by.
I’ve found that the best way to get rid of annoying people is to annoy them right back. Next time he stops by, tell him you have a project to discuss with him, go get your Bible, come back and tell him you feel called to ensure his eternal salvation. Then start reading out loud to him, non-stop, until he walks (or possibly runs!) away in exasperation.
Oh, and please videotape and post it for us to enjoy!!
Does anyone else see the (very faint) large orb to the left on the photo of the woodshed?
Why did you have to throw in “nigger” when you typed “you got a suspicious nigger hangin’ around…”
Did no one find that offensive?
I’m not even black, and I am incensed!
This is the kind of crap that creates anomosity between the races…
DuhhhBlondie: because it would make no sense otherwise, of course.
Robin: I see it, right there where the sun is shining into the lens.
Trisha: Man, that sounds like it would be fun! I wish I could hook him up with the Jehovah’s Witnesses who came by a few weeks ago.
Another way to handle him might be every time you see him you could hand him the want ads you pulled out of the paper for him or tell him about job postings you saw around town. Either you’ll help a brotha out — or he’ll get sick of it and not come back.
I agree the N word is getting a lot of play here lately, I’m glad you wrote earlier that it bothers you when you hear it. For real, would you be as bothered (enough to call the police)if the dude was just weird and white? The folks in your comments sure are quick to suggest erecting gates and fences! Jeesh.
That’s a Cooper’s Hawk that stopped by to visit you.
I LOVE the hellfire and damnation approach and the want ads are good too! Good ones- I am going to write them down for my own future reference!
What’s up with the orbs? I see the one on the left side of the woodshed and another one down by the ground (around the 2 leftover posts).