vituperation

I started physical therapy on Monday. When I got there, they made me put on a tiny little hospital johnny, and the doctor (of chiropracty, or something like that) came in and poked and prodded and twisted and turned various parts of me while my gown gaped open and rode up to my waist. Together, we gave new meaning to the word “spread” with regards to my legs.

It was quite the experience, having a man do that to me.

We had a long talk about the pain and what made it better and what made it worse. He told me that I should respond well to therapy based on his past results with people having similar issues. I have but a single rule: sit no longer than 30 minutes at a time, then get up and move around, because walking doesn’t hurt.

He gave me a single exercise to do, called a press up. Imagine you’re laying on your stomach with your arms in the position you’d have them in to go to a pushup. You do the pushup, only you leave your body limp so that your groin stays on the ground. Press up (get it?) until you can lock your elbows, then exhale to get maximum curvature of the spine. Hold it a few seconds, then lower. No more than ten of those in a row.

It feels like heaven to me, because apparantly all my slouching has compressed things in one direction in my spine. That compression is getting on my nerves (literally) and causing a good bit of the pain. The press up spreads the compressed part out and gives my nerves plenty of room.

Or something like that.

In any case, I did them yesterday, several times. Matter of fact, I might have over done them, which he told me not to do. All night I twisted and turned in bed, in agony in most parts of my back except for the part I’d originally gone to the doctor for. This morning I hurt like hell to, but as the day went on something incredible happened.

My back pain decreased dramatically. I wasn’t pain-free, but I was getting close.

Until, of course, I went back to see him today and found the honeymoon over. Today he made me hurt, first by having me lie on my stomach for 15 minutes (more on that in a bit), which caused my back to REALLY REALLY scream. Then, we played “stretch Fred’s hip ligaments” for several minutes, which made my hips ache. He told me to start doing hip stretches every hour before I do press ups and sent me on my way.

There’s one awesome thing about going to him. During each session, they hook up some electrode patches and a machine that sends pulsing waves of electricity into my back. On top of the patches, they lay a nice hot towel. I don’t know if these things really help or not, but it feels damn fine.

Except for today, when I laid there so long the other side of my back started hurting.

Damn back.

More baby pics, from this afternoon. I can’t get over how much they’ve grown since I saw them on Sunday.

They really seem to like their pool, and love love LOVE to scratch around in the pine shavings. They’re awfully funny to watch when they really get going with the scratching.

How YOU doin’?

Miss Cheepy shows her egg-n-poop hole (or vent, if you’re more inclined)

Mister Boogers loves to watch the chickies

Ten days old and they’ve all got the concept of the roost.

Mister Boogers would like a closer look. He and Tom Cullen LOVE
to sniff sniff sniff the chicks.

Our little rooster-to-be is really feathering up. He’s getting a couple of
bumps on his legs that I suspect may be spurs.
I certainly have a beautiful cock, no?

Watching and hating.

Look at those big goofy feet!