My business
It’s true what they say about small towns. People are…hmm, what’s the word? I don’t want to say nosy, because that’s not quite right. They pay attention to what you’re doing. Not quite IN your business, but monitoring it.
For example, a few weeks ago I stopped in at the corner store to make an appearance and buy some charcoal (how embarrassing for me: I scheduled steak on the weekly menu, then found I was out of charcoal at grill time). The charcoal there isn’t the Match Light I know and love, but some off brand named after Dizzy Gillespie. You have to actually put lighter fluid on it and let it soak in before you start your fire.
It’s sheer barbarism living in the country, sometimes.
Anyway, I was in there for a bag of Ole Diz, and after the normal greeting (“What you know, boy?” “Man, I don’t know nothin’. You?”) the shopkeeper fixed me with a gimlet eye while I dug around in my wallet for some money.
“Didja get your drain cleaned out?” he asked.
“Pardon?”
“Seen the plumber up your way last week, figured you had a backed up drain.”
See? Knowing my business. Monitoring it.
Or just making conversation, I guess.
“Oh. Nah, I was having a water line run out to my garden. I got tired of dragging the hose around out there all the time.”
He stared at me for an instant, and I sensed the neon sign flashing CITY BOY that hangs over my head growing a little brighter. Then he nodded.
“Ayup. Don’t blame ya.”
Earlier this week, I stopped in to pick up one of the little free classified ad papers and a Diet Coke. This time, both shopkeepers were there, as well as a third old man sitting on the old chair in the corner. One day when we’ve lived here a little longer, say twenty years or so, I may try sitting in that chair myself.
“You guys know anyone sellin’ an old truck?” I asked as I set my Diet Coke on the counter.
When I’m in Smallville, I unintentionally loosen the reins on my accent a little. As a child, I had a really strong southern accent until I was about fifteen. One day I heard myself on a recording, and was appalled at how bad I sounded. Seriously, I felt like I sounded like an extra out of Deliverance, but with better teeth. Like it or not, the stereotype for people who talk like that is “dumb hick,” and that’s exactly how I heard myself. As an adult, I realize that stereotypes aren’t always true, and I’ve met plenty of smart people with thick southern accents. But when I was a child, I thought as a child.
I spent the next several years trying to get rid of that accent, and it’s mostly gone now. I use southern words, for sure, like “y’all” and “supper,” but I’m often asked where I’m from because of my mostly accent-free voice. Recently, though, I’ve noticed that I pick up some of the inflections of the people in Smallville, perhaps in an unconscious effort to fit in a little better. Little things, like dropping the ‘g’ off of words, or saying things like “I reckon” instead of “I think.”
But I digress.
“Something like an old beater, just to drive up to the co-op and Lowe’s, to haul things that won’t fit in my car,” I said.
The consensus among the three was that they knew no one with an old truck for sale.
“You ’bout to get moved in?” shopkeeper #1 — who’d asked me about the plumber earlier — asked.
“About to.”
“Saw your garden back there,” shopkeeper #2 — the owner — said. “Looks right nice.”
“Thankya. It’s been a lot of work fighting the weeds, but I think we’re getting it under control now and it’s starting to give us some food. Ought to start getting eggs next month, too.”
Shopkeeper #1’s eyes twinkled. “You got chickens out there?”
“Sure do.”
“That what you built that fence for?” #1 asked.
They know your business in Smallville.
“They have their own chicken yard in the back, but the new fence is so our cats can go outside in the yard and not run off.”
Them cats just up and R-U-N-N-O-F-T, my mind shrieked.
All three men just looked at me.
I sensed the text of the neon sign over my head changing from CITY BOY to QUEER BOY.
“My wife really likes for them to get some outside time,” I added, rather lamely.
I thought it prudent not to tell them about walking Mister Boogers on a leash around the back forty.
See what I mean? I’m not used to people noticing what I’m doing, then asking me about it later in conversation. Not that I mind, it’s just disconcerting finding out that you’re not as invisible as you think you are.
While Robyn’s parents were here, her dad helped out quite a bit. We put up a 5-foot field fence over the holiday weekend, creating a back yard for the kitties to play in. My original plans were to put the fence up myself, but I’m really glad Papa Robyn was here to help, because it was rough going.
Here’s what it looked like when we finished:
I’ve been building ugly-ass gates the last couple of days, and only managed to screwdriver myself once. Unfortunately, it was through (THROUGH!) the webbing between my thumb and index finger, and hurt like fuck.
The garden is starting to kick in now. We should be some harvesting fools in the next month or so.
Sugar snap peas (shelled). I’m not a fan, personally, but Robyn likes them.
Or did, until they started getting all stringy. I pulled them up yesterday
and planted cucumbers.
Yellow squash, perhaps the finest vegetable ever, next to okra.
Especially when it’s oven-fried and sitting with a steak.
Robyn found a single green bean while weeding this weekend.
We ate it raw in a small private ceremony.
The jalapenos are starting to come in. I need to look for recipes,
because I’m the only one who likes them and we have like ten plants.
Habaneros and bell peppers, too.
Not shown: the green pepper I grew, then put in a scramble with some eggs. It was mighty fine.
Providing some of your own food is a lot of work, but it’s pretty rewarding when you’re eating it.
And speaking of the garden, here’s what it looked like as of Sunday:
Corn and a row of green beans and black-eyed peas
Okra (front and center), black beans (back of okra), black-eyed peas
Tomatoes, weedy onions, and peppers
Sugar snap peas (gone now), zucchini, yellow squash
Cantaloupes (front) and watermelons (back)
The girls look toward the garden, source of scraps.
Couldn’t the cats easily climb a 5 foot fence?
To digress a little . . on your recent birthday . . 40 is not really a big deal.
Just wait until you are 50!
Now for this entry . . looks WOW . . just WOW! Very nice.
Your garden looks great! I agree with you - yellow summer squash is the finest vegetable ever! Especially when it’s homegrown. Try it sliced and sauteed in a pan with a bit of shredded cheese added at the end - yum! (You DO like cheese not-on-a-salad, don’t you?)
Yeah, I’m curious to know how you are going to keep the cats from climbing the fence, too.
1. Cats can’t climb wire.
2. The posts may be a different story, and require enhancements.
>>I thought it prudent not to tell them about walking Mister Boogers on a leash around the back forty
I can’t believe how a man from Alabama can be looked at as an outsider when he has only moved a few miles to his new home. I have heard of the stories of where if you are not from that county then you are not condidered a local. My husband and I are from Long Island, NY and we are in the process of moving to Dyer, TN…. about 1/2 north of Jackson… talk about a small town. People just look at us and wonder what the heck we are doing there, because we obviously don’t belong, and my accent doesn’t help things. Most people have been very nice, but the Good Ol’ Boys can be rude as hell.
Umm…my cat can climb that fence. She jumps up as far as she can and just climbs the rest of the way. I’ve seen her do it many times. I worry that she’ll cut her pads, though she seems to be fine so far.
Fred - Long-time reader to your site (and Robyn’s) but a first-time poster here.
My favorite thing to do with jalapenos: Open the pepper up longways like a “V” but don’t cut it all the way open. Scoop out the seeds. Mix a cheese of your choice with an equal amount of cream cheese. Stuff this into the hollowed-out pepper. Wrap a piece of bacon around it. Secure with a toothpick and grill till the bacon’s done.
Love your site - it always cracks me up. I am so NOT a country kinda girl but I love reading about the garden and the chickens.
If you’re interested, here’s my recipe for salsa.
I usually buy about a pound of jalapeños and roast them on the grill. When they are all nice and charred but not burned, I put them in a bowl and cover them up with a piece of plastic wrap for a few minutes. Next, I peel them under running water.
To make the salsa, I put about four jalapeños (depending on how hot they are), two cloves of garlic and a 28 ounce can of whole peeled tomatoes in the blender. Pulse slowly about four or five times, be careful not to make it pink and frothy by overblending. Add some chopped cilantro and salt to taste. I usually add about a teaspoon of salt.
The rest of the peppers I put in sandwich bags, about four each, and put them in the freezer. Next time you make salsa will be a lot faster.
I hope your cats don’t climb wire- mine always did!!
You are going to have melons out the wazoo….. heh….
The string bean ceremony made me giggle.
I think I woke my hubby up (he works nights) laughing at your conversation at the local store!
You asked about how to keep the weeds now awhile back-MULCHING is the answer.You could put down cardboard or newspaper between the rows and if you want it to look better and be cushiony for your knees when you pick the veggies,add a thick layer of straw.
Come fall you can till the newspaper and straw under and it’ll break down over winter.
There’s a gardening idea(and there are MANY ideas out there)called layered gardening.It involves newspaper,cardboard,composting,yada,yada…
I imagine you’ve read up on growing your veggies, but watch over your cucumbers (and other similiar plants) for pickleworms. A couple years ago I had a nice row of cucumbers going that had been planted at about this time of year, but I ended up losing most from them. When I went searching for information about the worms I was finding, I discovered they were pickleworms, and they become more of a problem the later you plant for us in the deep South. They come spreading northward from Florida every year. By the way, I love your garden!
Luv the Anders0ns.
I just have to ask; Doesn’t ANYONE you live near, now or in the ‘burbs, know about your websites?
Luv,
Sammi
Everybody has an accent.
I live in the sticks too and know exactly what you mean. It was unnerving at first when neighbors let it be known that they knew our every move, but after a while its kinda nice. You know someone is looking out over your place.
One of my neighbors keeps about an acre of his property plowed and farm-ready at all times, even though he hasn’t panted corn on it in years. They do plant a veggie garden every year and I have never ever seen them weeding it. I don’t know if back mulching is anything like plowing, but that suggestion sounds like a viable one to me.
We like this jalapeno recipe, although it’s not exactly low-cal (cream cheese & bacon, anyone?) One good thing about it is you can just fix a couple, if that’s all you want:
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Stuffed-Jalapenos-III/Detail.aspx
Thanks for the recipes, guys. I’ve been thinking I can probably make something good by stuffing them with ground turkey or beef (maybe with chili seasoning).
If I get a bumper crop, I think I’m going to try making jalapeno jelly.
And Elizabeth, you can’t go wrong with something if bacon is involved.
Check out the charcoal chimney at this website. Much nicer than lighter fluid.
http://www.bbq-book.com/news2006/html/june_2006.html
I agree with MR. I can’t stand the taste of anything cooked w/ lighter fluid. Those chimneys are amazing–you just ball up one sheet of newspaper at the bottom of the chimney, pile on yer bricks, and light’er up. I think the charcoal is ready much quicker, too. In Girl Scouts we used to make them out of #10 cans: you just get a church key and make those little triangle holes all along the top & bottom, then use a pair of cheap (dollar store) vise grips to get it off the grill when the bricks are lit.
One chimney or can holds more briquets than you think, and once those are about half-ready, you can take the chimney off an pile some more bricks on the pile. They’ll light up real fast w/o icky fluid.
“I thought it prudent not to tell them about walking Mister Boogers on a leash around the back forty.”
Heh, they know all and remember all
I got busted my 4th day here, in my jammies, helping to medicate one of our horses. Our closest neighbors are over a mile away, and I got busted - figures.
That was 8 years ago next Monday, I STILL hear about it.
My cat could leap right over that fence without even touching it. You are going to have a bumber crop of everything this year. Your garden looks great. I’ve never heard of a cat eating a rabbit, it seems so unlikely since you feed them. I guess they do it for the sport. They are such great hunters. Thanks for sharing the photos.
Got to make jalapeno relish: My daddy made this all the time.
1 cup jalapeno peppers, diced
1 cup onion, minced
6 tablespoons olive oil
6 tablespoons cider vinegar
1 teaspoon garlic power
1 teaspoon granulated sugar
½ teaspoon salt
Combine oil, vinegar, and spices and whisk well. Mix in with onions and jalapenos. Refrigerate overnight. Allow tow arm up to room temp before serving.
He also made this:
1cup jalapeno peppers, chopped
2 med onions, chopped
2 regular tomatoes, chopped
2 sm cloves garlic, chopped
mix above, then add:
1/3 cup oil
1/3 cup vinegar
1/3 cup water
Mix all and put in jar. Refrigerate.
He canned his peppers too. People from all over would beg for his recipe. Might pass it along if you want. It is the easiest way to can peppers. And the best thing you have eaten.
My aunt made this all the time: They grew up eating jalapeno as kids. Nothing was ever too hot for them.
1 cup of mayo
1 cup of sour cream
1/8 teaspoon of salt
1 garlic clove crushed
1 cup fresh chopped cilantro
1 whole fresh jalapeno (seeded)
Place all ingredients in blender. Blend thoroughly for two minutes. Great on anything you use plain ole sour cream on or as a dip for tortilla chips
I live in the city and some neighbours were keeping an eye on us. We had been doing a lot of renovations over a few months. A friend showed up one morning and lady across the street yelled out “Be careful goin’ in there - they’ll putcha to work!”. It was hilarious.
Love your garden - it reminds me of my childhood. I have 2 sad little bell pepper plants in a container in my backyard - that’s as close to a garden as I can get right now…
I’m a big fan of pineapple salsa:
1/2 chopped fresh pineapple - or so
1 seeded, chopped jalepeno - or more
1/2 chopped red onion
1 chopped bell pepper
some fresh lime juice
chopped cilantro - add as much as you like.
Let the ingred. marinate for a couple of hours. You could also use mango or papaya if you like those things.
Or you could make guacamole!
2 really ripe avocados, mushed
3-4 cloves garlic, chopped/grated
cilantro, chopped
lime juice
1 jalapeno,seeded and chopped - can always add more or keep some seeds mixed in.
1 tomoto seeded and chopped
1 bell pepper seeded and chopped - optional
I’ll tell ya, 3 hours is not a long drive if some one perhaps got an invite up for some of them fresh veggies!!!! hint, hint, hint.
By the way, the mobile home in the picture reminded me to ask if the new poeple had moved in there yet?
Thanks for the recipes, guys.
Dave: It’s still for sale. Also, everyone knows you come DOWN to Alabama from TN, not up.
(the spud refers to her dad as coming ‘up’ here from Rhode Island!)