vituperation

Every time Robyn goes to Maine (like she did yesterday), I load up on bad movies and have myself a crapfest. Generally, I rent things she doesn’t want to see, and for that matter, I rent things I wouldn’t normally want to see. D-grade horror movies, usually, or movies I’ve never heard of that still manage to have all-star casts.

I always tell her I lower my standards while she’s gone because I don’t have a choice. I’m all but forbidden to watch any of the TV shows the DVR records during her absense.

Occasionally during one of the movie crapfests, I’ll find a gem. Mean Creek was one of those gems, found last year. It wasn’t great, but it was a lot better than I expected it to be. Glengarry Glen Ross was another. Who knew Al Pacino, Ed Harris, Alec Baldwin, Jack Lemmon, Kevin Spacey, and Alan Arkin were all in a movie together?

I found another gem yesterday. I’m not one to do a lot of movie pimping here, because I think we all have different tastes. What you like, I might hate, and I what I like, you might hate.

That said, I think Pan’s Labyrinth might be one of the best movies I’ve seen this year.

The movie had three strikes against it before I ever picked up the DVD: it’s foreign (you have to read subtitles if you don’t know Spanish), it was written and directed by a guy who made two movies I hated (Hellboy and Blade II), and it had high critical acclaim. Generally speaking, if critics love a movie, I’m going to hate it. I’m just that shallow, I reckon. I like my movies simple, not too wordy (Glengarry Glen Ross excepted, I guess), and without great deep meaning.

All that against it, and it was just incredible. I’d heard lots of good things about it from people I usually disagree with when it comes to books and movies, but I still decided to try it out, and I’m glad I did. I thought it was that good.

The movie has a well-deserved R-rating, because there are some gleefully violent and graphic scenes. It is NOT a kid’s movie, though it’s very much like a fairy tale. I won’t give away any details, but if you have a couple of spare hours laying around, there are worse ways to spend them than watching this movie.

Feel free to comment on the movie if you’ve seen it, but please don’t post any spoilers.

Now, I’ll shut up and show you the trailer, which doesn’t really do it justice.

I changed out the bedding in the chicken coop Friday afternoon because it was starting to smell like ammonia. I have to do this every month or two, because the chickens insist on shitting all over the place when they’re in there, damn them. Cleaning the coop’s not a hard thing, but it’s not something I can say I enjoy, either. Just part of having animals around.

I was all kinds of smart when I did the cleaning, too, very mindful of the fact that I was still suffering the effects of not being careful around the poop. I wore a mask to make sure I didn’t inhale any errant poop dust, and had a nice set of work gloves on my hands to keep them feces free. You need a good pair of gloves for coop cleaning because you have to reach into all the nooks and crannies where the shovel won’t fit and rake out the dirty litter. Gloves are excellent for keeping the poop off your hands, and I made sure to wear mine the whole time.

Matter of fact, I still had those gloves on after I’d gotten all the pooped up litter out and was over by the pump trying to wash poop off the little wooden ramp the chickens walk on to get in and out of the coop. Problem was, I couldn’t manipulate the spray thingy on the end of the hose with that work glove on my hand.

So without thinking, I stuck the finger of the glove in my mouth, bit down on it, and pulled the glove off that way.

Sometimes, I think it’s nothing short of a miracle that I’ve survived 40 years.

I’m pleased to announce that things in my guts are getting back to normal.