Adventures in freakdom.
Every time Robyn goes to Maine (like she did yesterday), I load up on bad movies and have myself a crapfest. Generally, I rent things she doesn’t want to see, and for that matter, I rent things I wouldn’t normally want to see. D-grade horror movies, usually, or movies I’ve never heard of that still manage to have all-star casts.
I always tell her I lower my standards while she’s gone because I don’t have a choice. I’m all but forbidden to watch any of the TV shows the DVR records during her absense.
Occasionally during one of the movie crapfests, I’ll find a gem. Mean Creek was one of those gems, found last year. It wasn’t great, but it was a lot better than I expected it to be. Glengarry Glen Ross was another. Who knew Al Pacino, Ed Harris, Alec Baldwin, Jack Lemmon, Kevin Spacey, and Alan Arkin were all in a movie together?
I found another gem yesterday. I’m not one to do a lot of movie pimping here, because I think we all have different tastes. What you like, I might hate, and I what I like, you might hate.
That said, I think Pan’s Labyrinth might be one of the best movies I’ve seen this year.
The movie had three strikes against it before I ever picked up the DVD: it’s foreign (you have to read subtitles if you don’t know Spanish), it was written and directed by a guy who made two movies I hated (Hellboy and Blade II), and it had high critical acclaim. Generally speaking, if critics love a movie, I’m going to hate it. I’m just that shallow, I reckon. I like my movies simple, not too wordy (Glengarry Glen Ross excepted, I guess), and without great deep meaning.
All that against it, and it was just incredible. I’d heard lots of good things about it from people I usually disagree with when it comes to books and movies, but I still decided to try it out, and I’m glad I did. I thought it was that good.
The movie has a well-deserved R-rating, because there are some gleefully violent and graphic scenes. It is NOT a kid’s movie, though it’s very much like a fairy tale. I won’t give away any details, but if you have a couple of spare hours laying around, there are worse ways to spend them than watching this movie.
Feel free to comment on the movie if you’ve seen it, but please don’t post any spoilers.
Now, I’ll shut up and show you the trailer, which doesn’t really do it justice.
I changed out the bedding in the chicken coop Friday afternoon because it was starting to smell like ammonia. I have to do this every month or two, because the chickens insist on shitting all over the place when they’re in there, damn them. Cleaning the coop’s not a hard thing, but it’s not something I can say I enjoy, either. Just part of having animals around.
I was all kinds of smart when I did the cleaning, too, very mindful of the fact that I was still suffering the effects of not being careful around the poop. I wore a mask to make sure I didn’t inhale any errant poop dust, and had a nice set of work gloves on my hands to keep them feces free. You need a good pair of gloves for coop cleaning because you have to reach into all the nooks and crannies where the shovel won’t fit and rake out the dirty litter. Gloves are excellent for keeping the poop off your hands, and I made sure to wear mine the whole time.
Matter of fact, I still had those gloves on after I’d gotten all the pooped up litter out and was over by the pump trying to wash poop off the little wooden ramp the chickens walk on to get in and out of the coop. Problem was, I couldn’t manipulate the spray thingy on the end of the hose with that work glove on my hand.
So without thinking, I stuck the finger of the glove in my mouth, bit down on it, and pulled the glove off that way.
Sometimes, I think it’s nothing short of a miracle that I’ve survived 40 years.
I’m pleased to announce that things in my guts are getting back to normal.
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I saw Pans in the theater last year. It blew my mind. I have the same qualities you look for in a movie, and generally, if a movie is loved by critics, I despise it.
Pans was simply beautiful. Moving, and intense.
del Toro has another sleeper movie, one that I liked, though not as much as Pans. It’s called The Devils Backbone. It’s also subtitled, many of his movies are, since he releases most of them to Mexican audiences, and it’s also horrible, and touching, and intense.
He also has a soon to be released movie called The Orphanage. I don’t know that he is as involved in this one, but he is credited as a Producer. Looks like it’s along the same terrible, horrible, breath taking vein.
(can you tell I’m a fan?)
And yeah, HellBoy sucked ass.
http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/389195/The-Orphanage/trailers
Here’s a link to the trailer for Orphanage. More horror than suspense, but I’m sure it’ll be awesome( I hope, anyway).
I also saw Pans in the theater when it first came out. It was awesome.
The glove in the mouth? EEEEeeeew. Scarier than any movie, I do believe.
If I remember correctly, del Toro is the director for the upcoming sequel to Hellboy. Trailer looked amazing.
Oh, I reluctantly rented Pan’s last year…it blew me away. I thought about it for weeks after I saw it, which almost never happens to me. I loved it!
LOVED Pan’s Labyrinth. Dude, that’s not lowering your standards, that’s raising them. Robyn should see it too.
I loved Glengarry Glen Ross when it first came out. I meant to catch it when it ran on cable but didn’t get a chance to see it. It seems like they would have had to dubb the bleep out of that movie to put it on tv.
The glove debacle - LOVE it - very natural thing to do, and I recognized the UhOh moment exactly when you did, I suspect.
Drinks lots of water. Flush out your system
Mary
When you put the glove in your mouth, I screamed, then started to cackle, much like a chicken. Ewwww!! And twistedly funny.
I got Pan’s Labyrinth for my son; I hope we can watch it today.
Lets hope that your gut stays normal after that little mishap. We’re renting Pans tonight. Did you see Life is Beautiful? I know its kind of older, and it is sub=titled too but man, what a awesome movie! Enjoy your alone time.
eewwwwwwwww *spit spit phooey yuck ackkkkk*
Fred is a poopy mouth *sing songy* Fred is a poopy mouth!
I can’t say as I’ve ever put my gloved finger in my mouth to pull the glove off even if I had my hands full I’d put down whatever I had in them and pull off my gloves with my hands. EWWWWWW! So tell us what does chicken poopy litter taste like? Like chicken?…..Just like everything else tastes like chicken?!?
Have you seen the Quentin Tarintino movie Death Proof? Apparently it is really good, not the sort of movie I’d watch but was wondering if it is something you’d like?
I loved Pan’s Labyrinth. No one else in my family would watch it because they “don’t do” subtitles. Found myself humming that haunting lullabye for days after watching it.
You must rent Boxing Helena…a classic, LOL
well, they WERE getting back to normal, before you went and re-injected yourself with poop. HAHA @ you. That is hilarious. Unfortunate, but hilarious nonetheless.
I could tell in the first five minutes that Pan’s Labyrinth would be too intense for me, but I tried to watch it anyway. I saw quite a bit of it and I agree it’s a wonderful film.
I remember telling a friend a tip on hot glue guns I had seen on a Martha Stewart show way back–always keep a bowl of cold water near the glue gun to dip your fingers in if you get burned because you should never put your hands in your mouth when you’ve got hot glue on them. The next day she showed up at work with a blister on her lip. It’s just instinctive. I just have to wonder if Martha Stewart learned the hard way, too.
Oh God no!!! Don’t rent Boxing Helena!!!! Sorry, Dave, but that has to be the worst, most horrifying movie I’ve ever seen!!! But then I still remember it, don’t I? It sticks with you, in an Ewwwww-please-God-get-that-movie-out-of-my-head way. (shivers up my spine)
I liked Pan’s Labyrinth, but yes, the violence was pretty violent. I didn’t like that part of it. It was way different from what I expected, hauntingly and horrifyingly beautiful. But people, please listen to Fred, this is not a kid’s movie. Don’t confuse it with Labyrinth (with David Bowie and muppets).
Interesting sub-titled movie that I LOVE (and you might like): Run, Lola, Run.
Love, love, love Pan’s. We saw it in the theater 3 times and bought it the day it came out on DVD, it is just that damn good. Granted, the 3rd time was for my husband’s school assignment. He’s been taking Spanish and they had to watch/do something that involved the Spanish speaking culture in the arts. But still, didn’t hesitate to make that his assignment.
And the girl was absolutely awesome for only being, what, 11/12? Just great.
I agree with Lo. Run, Lola, Run is also a good one. It’s definitely different but I enjoyed it quite a bit.
LOL, I know Lo, I still joke to my wife about that movie…my favorite quote, “Get up and get out”
Hey that said I discovered a site…. www.watch-movies.net
I watched Super Bad on there and there are a host of NEW movie you can check out to…for what it’s worth
If you liked “Pan’s Labyrinth”, watch “The Devil’s Backbone”. Same director. Yes, it has subtitles, but it’s very very good.
I rented Mean Creek this past week and ended up liking it. I had to watch it one night that I knew the boyfriend would be working late because I know he would have just criticized it. It turned out to be a decent movie
Hey fred - was wondering if you caught the blue man on the today show this am. Nice discussion about your favorite multi-purpose medicine!
Fred, you HAVE to see “The Orphanage” - It’s produced by the Pan’s Labyrinth guy, yes it has subtitles, but it is one of the best horror films I’ve seen in awhile. It’s still in theaters and I know you don’t get out to them often but it’s worth it!
Fred,
What is up??? You have not posted all of January.
Fred,
Are you o.k.?